i guess i knew this long ago, but only these couple of years i
really felt bad.
i dunno if i am too paranoid over nothing, but i really want to say
it out lar.
i have an elder brother, 20, i've got a younger brother, 10...me?
i'm 18.
All these years, i always felt my mother prefer my elder brother,
and my father, my younger brother. Even my granny prefer the two of
them, but she more or les zhong nan qing nu, so i can accept
(though not tt willingly).
I am in poly year 2 now, while my brother, 2 years older, is in
poly year 1. this was because he retake his 'o's at one time and
dropped a course at another. I had always felt i was the clever one
in the family, my results were always better.
i admit tt if he really put in effort, it will be possible that he
gets better results. but through out pri sch and sec sch, my
results has always been better. eventually, at 'O's, i can get to
jc, but i choose poly instead.
me and my elder brother were in the same secondary school, we have
many common teachers and friends and i had always been categorised
as the clever one btw the two. to me it does not make a difference,
i mean so what if my results are bad, and so what if they are
good.
but my mother had never commented anything on my results for my
psle or 'o's...i know i do not need her to constantly praise me of
being guai or what, but she is really like never even mention one
lor. eventually, when i get results, i see liao, i sign my own
report book, or i tear up my result slip for poly results.
but just a few days ago, i left my result slip lying around, and
both she and my elder brother saw it. i know my results sucks, but
frankly, i was pretty satisfied because i knew my abilities.
then my brother asked me, "ey, ur results so lousy, you not paiseh
one hor", i din answer, but my mother did "ai-yah, she herself
knows she lousy, so of course see the results wun feel anything one
mah~"
trust me, it was not said as a joke.
then my brother said he got 3 bs and 2cs and 1d. i tried to explain
why my results were not good (i dun even know why i tried to), they
were like "is~~ it~~"...very sacastic lor.
tt was one specific incident, but usually, when i talked to my
mother, sometimes she will talk to me, at others, she will just
diao3 me...i mean i am just talking to her leh, she have to treat
me that way one leh.
because she is working mah, so whenever possible, i will meet
friends for dinner rather than lunch...just to get away from
her.
i always thought i had tried my best to be a good daughter, but
obviously she don't think the same, for she insist that my elder
brother is more capable.
i am not exactly craving for attention lar, i just want to be
treated fairly.
i happen to surf on a website just now, and i read about middle
child syndrome... it says the parents usually dotes on the first
child because, well, he is the first. they usually likes the last
child, well, because he is the last.
there isn't a reason why the middle child is generally ignored, but
i guess the reason is because we are not special enough...we are
not the eldest, nor the youngest. we are at the same time "an elder
and a younger". While the first child get all the attention, the
last child gets all the privilage.
ai*yah, life sucks!!!
