How to make a choice?

XinYi SG · 2001-10-30T11:18:00+00:00

Dear XinYi, Its interesting to know that so many guys are wooing your friend at the same time. What you pointed out about her not knowing what you wants in...

XinYi SG

Haiz... dunno consider my fren lucky or unlucky...

Recently she told me that got a few guys (I tink abt 4 guys if I am not wrong)are wooing her at the same time.

She is in a dilemma cos she doesn't noe which guy to choose lor. She also dunno what she wan in looking for a b/fren.

She still wan to remain fren w them even though she has to reject some of e guys but I think quite difficult to remain as fren again after being rejected.

So anyone can advice her?

autumn SG

Hi Xinyi... hee how old is your friend? Is she very young? If she's still schooling in JC or Poly, probably she can take more time to know and understand the 4 guys first b4 deciding which guy is more suitable for her.

IMHO, since she is currently not too sure abt wat she wants in a bf.. maybe it would be better for her to remain as friends wif them first... But if the guys dun want to remain as friends.. then I guess there's nothing much she can do leh...

[This message has been edited by autumn (edited 21 October 2001).]

FireIce SG

take some time to get to know them better loh..
this type of thing not go supermarket shopping shopping..have then take..

as for the rejection problem..the guys shd be understanding loh..

------------------
~~EviL AngeL~~
[/i:vel eindzel/]

more affectionately known as...
tHe eXtrA-oRdiNaRy eCCenTriC PaRanOid BiTch wiF thE PaiZaBor aTTiTudE
(that happens to love prata...and Quickly PearlTofu and Lychee Ice w/pearls)

A hiaK~ is a sarcastic laugh

Atti SG

If she can't make a clear choice....... this may show that she doesn't really like any of them....... maybe she is choosing a bf for the sake of having one.......

Anyway, i am sure not all four of them have a equal chance.......

All that aside, maybe ask her to choose the one who is the richest, haha :p (joking)

------------------
nOthiNg iS ImpOsSibLE In tHiS wOrLd
EvEn tHe wOrD ImPoSsiBLe SaYs "i'M pOsSiBLe"

need2ask SG

WAH!

------------------
~`~`~`~`~
need2ask®
~`~`~`~`~

mikegk_76 SG

No choice mah, luv is selfish, juz ask your friend who she's actually in luv with, she had to make a decision eventually. No doubt it will hurt the other guys, but "chang tong bu ru duan tong"...

------------------
Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off

XinYi SG

The thing is that each guy has his own strenght. She likes one of the guy's sincerity, another guy's humor, the other a real gentleman and the last one good look and intelligent lor got a good career.

When she told me this, she gimme a feeling that she likes or maybe admires all of them lor.

Like that gimme also headache!! Confused

BTW, she is in her early twenties and started to work not long ago. She is those "guai guai", pretty änd soft spoken girl. Very Happy

I cant really help her to choose also. Scully choose the wrong one then got anything happened, I will feel very bad.

The only thing I can help her is to advise and help her find out what she wants for a partner liao.

But how to start? Me no experience leh need those experience one to "chuan shou" their "mi ji" now.

need2ask SG

a bit simple if we think simple. dun go stead wif any of them lor. like you said, she dun know wat she wan in her stead yet, then why bother? continue being frens lor. can enjoy more attention. warmth, time. as time goes by, maybe she will know which one is for her? becos if got guys chase, then must make decision, a bit 'ma fan' rite? wait got 7, 8 ,9 or more how? but then again... she can always go stead wif one of them for a period of time, to see wat each and everyone can give?? <- Kidding. Very Happy

Hope the guys sincere and serious.

------------------
~`~`~`~`~
need2ask®
~`~`~`~`~

Klactovak SG

WAH LAO!!! Did somebody watch too much Meteor Garden?!? How come it sounds so very similar to the storyline.

If she doesn't know what she wants, then better don't. Better to have 4 friends and be happy about it, rather then 1 boyfriend and all unhappy about it.

Hmmm... who is this girl? Pretty or not.... heh heh.... kidding! Also got a lot of eligible guys around here on AA. Introduce them to her lor. Make her super-confused.

Anyway, your friend may choose one who will love her more then she loves him. Then can step all over him, make him iron clothes, sweep floor, mop floor, scrub toilet, give her reflexology, wash clothes... she got the criteria might as well abuse it and have a good life.... Smile

Hmmm... also can introduce some of the guys to the girls here mah. Unfair for your friend to hog so many eligible guys.

*|azy SG

hmm, juz dun choose.. i mean, there r so much guys in e world.. y limit herself 2 oni 4.. n i tink its obvious tt none of them hapen 2b e person she wants.. if she reali like either one of them, she wun even hesitate 4 so long..

n, abt e part where she'l lose those 4 frenz, i tink.. kinda no choice.. nt much guys can accept gals tt they woo b4 as their frenz.. so.. too bad la, since she is a pretty gal... Very Happy

hmm.. n she stil dno wad she wants in a bf... she's nt tt old tt she cant wait 4 e right ONE 2 come rite.. den, dun choose lor.. y eva settle 4 e 2nd best..

------------------
~*And the stars just sit there and glimmer like they don't notice how we're dying inside, and the rain still pours and mocks us in our deaths, and the world goes on when all the hearts are broken.*~

[This message has been edited by *|azy (edited 23 October 2001).]

weiwei SG

well, i think in de first place she dunwan a stead as u shldnt go look out fer characteristics u wan in someone... rather when de special person comes, u'll juz noe it.

to remain as friens wif de other guys... first, is she realli sure dat they are wooing her... i mean they told her directly... coz if not... it might be a bit embarrassing if she gort it wrong lorz...

keke, de rejection bit... try to hint them by saying things like "we will be de bez of friends" or "u are a nice korkor all along"... dis along traditional works well i think... or juz tell straight in de face dat she would like to concentrate on her studies now... n dunwan to think abt BGR... worse come to worst, she haf to dist away from de most thick-skin ones lorz...

------------------
~FoReVeR I hOLd YoU cLoSe To My HeArT~

weiwei SG

if she dunno... den intro mi lorz... haha, dun see i 17 only... mi more mature than u think... *grins*

------------------
~FoReVeR I hOLd YoU cLoSe To My HeArT~

joanne SG

haha..u wanna be the fifth guy isit? u wanna be F5???
hahahahahaha... Very Happy

mikegk_76 SG

Admire and Luv are totally two diff things, u may admire him but nt luv him, don't u understd, everybody had his strengths and weaknesses, if u said ur frd admired the 4 guys, then she will b in luv with at most guys liao. Hope I nvr offend ur frd by saying this, but this frd, hmmm, is it yourself???

------------------
Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off

XinYi SG

if she dunno... den intro mi lorz... haha, dun see i 17 only... mi more mature than u think... *grins*

[/B][/QUOTE]

Haha... weiwei you so cheeky hor. Cool

You shd be concentrating on your study now lah.

I dun think this fren of mine like to have "jie di" kinda relationship. She told me that she likes older guys lor.

Dun be sad, when the time comes maybe you may like my fren having 4 girls wooing you. Very Happy

XinYi SG

Hi Mike

Sorrie to say I am not as pretty as my fren nor having 4 guys falling for me. Weep weep Sad

At least I know what I wan in looking for a partner lah. Very Happy

But when you happened to be in the love or admiration situation on all 4 guys or maybe girls for your case that met your citeria for a partner and you actually have feeling for all of them. What will you do?

Maybe that's a selfish and insincere act to have 4 of them as your partners now (spare one) and later on elimate them one by one. The survivor will become your actual partner as my buddy has suggested lah. However by doing so, will you think that the winner will be yours forever????

Scully all 4 know that you r a 4-timer and dump you instead...??!!

Haizzzzz... so complicated!!

weiwei SG

so xinyi jie, how is it? ur frien less confused liaoz? i think de bez way is to understand urself lorz... by knowing urself, den u noe wad u wan...

------------------
~FoReVeR I hOLd YoU cLoSe To My HeArT~

lizardnick SG

Xinyi
I think you better ask your friend how will she answer when 1 by 1 of the guys ask them a very honest question:-
"do you Love me and willing to be my lifetime partner?"

coz... if not she will fall into a trap of love...

if she can't answer any of the guys then this proves that she's still young and not ready to make a decision....

(only suggesting... but tried on a few friends)

------------------
nic

Twiggie SG

Sounds like the show 'Survivor' on TV. Hehe. I dun think it's a good idea to have all four as partners then eliminating them one by one. It's really unfair to the poor gentlemen lor. They may be sincerely wanting to court you, yet that is how you treat them. And also if, you agree to go steady with them with the intention of 'trying the relationship or test test water'...then if you find out you really dun love them, it'll be a bigger blow to them if you reject them. Please lah...pity those poor gentlemen...dun play with their feelings. And guys...so MCP...how would they feel if they found out they are 'sharing their gf with 3 other guys'?! That will be double blow!
We can never have the best of both worlds...in your friend's case, best of 'four' worlds.
Beauty is really skin-deep..so looks should not play too important a part in the choice of bf. A guy may be humourous and fun to be with...but these are the ones we should beware of lor..these are the guys who are always trying to get the attention of most gals and they are often 'love cheats'...just know how to sweet talk gals. I personally feel that sincerity and how much he loves you is the most important things to look for when choosing a bf. Your friend need to know which is the serious one and which is just play play with her. Need to know if they like her for who she is or for her looks only. Pretty gals tend to face alot of problems in relationships becos it's not easy to find one person who likes them for who they are cos most of their admirers are attracted to them becos of their looks.
She can try to examine or observe closely the character of each of the guys, see how they treat their friends and family, how they view their future, whether they are the down-to-earth kind or the cunning kind...all these are good reflections on the guy's character. Hope this is of use to your friend or to those out there with the same problem.
Good luck to your friend and hope she makes a wise choice. Love is like a gamble. But if we review and observe carefully before 'jumping into the love grave', the chances of losing in this love game will be greatly lowered. Good luck to all those out there who are still searching for the one! Smile

[This message has been edited by Twiggie (edited 25 October 2001).]

mikegk_76 SG

U r nt as pretty as your frd? So? Appearance doesn't count much, what's impt is "inner beauty". My frd had a frd who looks as pretty as a fairy, but she don't like to communicate with others and doesn't hav a bf till nw, so don't b sad, it may be a blessing not to b that pretty, huh? Very Happy

Anyway, regardg this complicated matter, although I agree that love is selfish, but your frd shd knw what's best for her, so no pt. worrying for your frd, this is her private life, nt yours...

------------------
Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off