The night after the talk by her, I walked her home and she told
me that she has patched up with her boyfriend (she told me they
were having a tiff 2 days ago) and from that moment on, I knew she
and her boyfriend are very much in love with each other.
I'm feeling very depressed and sad right now because my heart and
my head are pulling me apart. My heart is saying: you must seize
the opportunity to at least let her know you like her or you risk
losing her forever. On the other side, my head is telling me: she
and her boyfriend are very happy together and I should suppress my
feeling and look for another girl because nothing is going to come
out of it.
Confusion and disappointment nows fills my heart. After she has
reached home, I left for a park near her house and did a lot of
thinking. Somehow, she still feels very precious to me; I've never
had such feeling for a girl throughout 21 years of my life and I
felt totally devastated if I've to give her up -- I'm afraid of
losing her. Will I meet another girl who will touch my heart ever
in my life again? It's simply hard to just suppress my feeling for
her even though my head is telling me to stop it.
I'm contemplating telling everything, by
(1) letting her know I like her,
(2) but I also understand that she has a great loving relationship
with her boyfriend (3) and I'm not asking for any more advances in
our relationship and I'm just hoping to remain as casual
friend.
Any comments?