The thing is, I've decided to stop pursuing her as a romantic
partner. I'd be going abroad for a few years and maybe I'm never
even coming back to Singapore. Therefore, I doubt a LDR is going to
be good for both of us.
On the other hand, I'm not the only suitor. I've another rival and
it's terrible that I've to see him everyday. We're all classmates
you see. Me, the girl and the other guy. Though he's been rejected
many times, they both seem to be getting closer day by day.
In a way, it's good for her; She'd have someone else who is more
able to spend time with her. However, it's devastating to know that
I'm unable to be with her even though I love her so much.
We're still very good friends though we don't talk as much now. I
try to avoid her because it really reminds me of all this shit but
it's difficult. She gives me this bittersweet feeling when she's
around me.
I really don't know how to deal with this. I'm bearing all the pain
now because she hasn't the faintest idea about this. I'd like to
keep it this way because I think some things are better left
unknown for her. Furthermore, it's not a good time anyway when the
prelims are around the corner.
If I really have to tell her, perhaps it'll be when I meet her in
person for the last
time before I leave Singapore.
*Sigh* Why is life like this? Why is love like this? Why is it that
something so beautiful can also bring so much pain?
[This message has been edited by Pooch (edited 14 July 2000).]