How to maintain a relationship?

french fries SG

Have u ever have this feeling like: u are with someone now and yet u feel that u are not progressing in the relationship....
it's like u do not know whether u are together becos the other party feels obliged or becos he or she really like u....
u just lose your focus sometimes
i am confused now...hopefully someone can give me some advice...
a million thanx

lexelle SG

FF:

Learn to maintain your life first.

Very Happy

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Yes¿ No¿ Maybe¿

LittleMan SG

to add to wat lex had said ....

One of my fren's mother once said this,"Learn to take care of yourself first before you try to take care of others"

Well, i believe that relationship is dynamic. It can't be static. It will either move forward or move backwards but it will never stay where it is. So if you feel that your r/s is not progressing, it is probably getting worse.

How to maintain a relationship ? Truthfulness is the most important criteria. Effective communication is next.

There are some simple things that u can do to spice up the r/s :

a. send him/her cards. Even on April Fool's day. Best is to make your own card and please try to be creative. If you know that she/he is down, you can send him a card too. There are many reasons to why you can send him/her a card !

b. buy him/her presents. Simple presents, not expensive ones.

c. talk about your dreams and plans for the future.

d. go holiday together, a new environment can rejuvenate a r/s

e. dun always go out alone with him/her. Ask frens to join in, sometimes you'll have a lot more fun this way. For example, do sports together.

Hope these help.

Scarlett SG

Try to add some spice to your relationship......
Wat spice? errrr.....u have to ask other people liao.....
I think relationships r like the stock market.....sometimes its high...sometimes its low...sometimes its stagnant....
when rumours of company crushing....share prices drop....when rumours tat company doing well then share prices go up again....if no rumours...then stagnant lor...

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The measure of love is when you love without measure.

french fries SG

aloha...thanx for the advice
by the way how old are u pple?

LittleMan SG

i am one of the oldest around i believe, only Colette and prodigal are my match Very Happy

french fries SG

little man and the rest:
how often do u think that a couple should meet?
and to what extent should they share secrets?

LittleMan SG

how often a couple should meet ? This is really subjective. It depends on a few factors :

a. how busy both are with their personal life (ie study/work/family)

b. personaililty of the person (some are more possessive than others. We are all possessive, just at different extend)

But one thing for sure, once you find that the both of you have been meeting up too often and it is getting a bit boring/nothing to say ... good to see each other less (like from every 2 days to every 4 days). Dun mian qiang stick together just becos you are a couple. It is just going to harm the r/s.

Secrets ....

It all depends on wat type of secrets. Sometimes we do not possess the secret alone. For example, your close fren tell you something very personal about him/her and now the both of you share the same secret. Such secret should not be shared with your bf/gf otherwise you'll be breaching the trust your fren has on you. Unless you got permissoin from your fren.

But if it is your personal secret, then i think it is ok to share. But dun share secrets for the sake of sharing secrets, really stupid.

I believe in truthfulness. 2 persons must be truthful to each other to make a r/s works. So if there is a *need* to share secrets, i will not hesitate to do it.

One more thing, the extent to sharing secrets also depends a lot on the level of r/s you both are in. Dun tell me the both of you are attached only for 1 week and you spill all your secrets to him. It is plain foolish.

SNAFU SG

Maintainnin Relationship....

1. Buy her loads of gift
2. Pamper her...
3. Make her belif that she iz the only one u love..... but u must have a few others.
4. Tell her wat she wants to hear
5. See her during the day only .... at nite u will be wit other ger.
6. Show the caring side of u ..... very caring .. well iz only a SHOW wat...easy.
7. remember her bday and important dates so that u can free urself from other ger on that day.

There's lots of way .... so let others tell u also.

YoShii SG

Basically, I think it is all about communication, sharing and understanding.

Churra SG

I believe that communication and trust is the most important.
Talk. Talk abt the things u have done daily to each other. Tell her wat happened at home or at work. Sooner or later, it will become a common topic that may make the both of u start to talk.
The other party must show interest in listening though.

Give her a hug or a little kiss each time u see her.
Understand her needs and the both of u must be comfortable with each other to make it works.

YoShii SG

Churra, Agree. Even it is something minor in the school or at work, talking about them can improves relationship because that is when communication takes place. Such minor things may develop into other topics and other experiences and the list goes on...

Is it true that guys don't like to share much about their daily happenings?

SecMinHr SG

nope..guys personally loves to share his daily happenings with the one he loves also..the impt issue here is voluntarily..and not when prompted….

march SG

I guess.........To Be TRUE to each other, Total Trust in each other and always give and take and not just take all the times....
I think these few should be the most basic things in a relationship...

P/S:But these won't apply if the both of u or one of u just want to play play with each other lah....That will be too bad lah!!! for either one of u.....

YoShii SG

SecMinHr, Thanks for your comments. It is rather useful to me.

March, agree.

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You will never realise what you have, Until you lose it.
You will never know what you really want, Until you find it.

SecMinHr SG

Yoshi, not a problem Smile for me, a simple statement like "how's work today", "eat already?" would be simple and sweet, but of coz...not it gets kindda a nuisance like u ask him/her the same qn every meal or regularly every 1 hour or so. Its a mutual understanding, u tok when u miss, not becos there is a need Smile

moose SG

But at least it shows that you are concerned about her daily going-ons to ask such miniscule questions right??? Smile ))

SecMinHr SG

moose...agreed, perhaps in a more subtle manner would i put in, as in a phone call in the night as to ask but definitely not to the extend of maciam acting like a stalker like that Smile I believe some relationship does fail due to one party complaining the other party of being to domineering and monitoring in daily events.

moose SG

Ya,if one party becomes too dominant,then i am sure there is going to be some resentment being developed sooner or later 1,both parties must contribute equally to a relationship Smile ))

KTE SG

Shrugs. If you have to, break up then. No use hanging on for nothing.