Some jokes from SSDC instructer to cheer u up

XiaoDi SG

These jokes are from the instructers during the 4 theory lessons...Little lame though.. juz to lighten up your day!
What is the safest way to cross a cross juction.
Stop behind the white line.
When the light turns green, kick your gear to neutral... MUZ be netral ah!
Then off your ignition.
Check back (not check blind spot ok!), then swing your right leg over the bike.
Now is the most hard part... pay attention ah.
Quickly push the bike on to the padestrain crossing (at the same time muz check blindspot),then wait for the green man to come out b4 pushing the bike over the crossing.

YaoKuai SG

You dare to do that, i think the tp will go after you…hahah, well when really get caught, just tell them that instructor teach one… if got record down as proof lagi best, hahah. Happy trying ….

XiaoDi SG

here's another 1...
When u get your bike license wat is the safest way to make sure u will not get hurt in anyway.
Frame up your license, and hang it on your door.
So when everytime u go out, look at the license and say "wah... I got a license" then take SBS bus to your destination.
Smile
Hope by these time still no one vomitting blood! Or puking milk....

^TzM 53^ SG

*pengz*
kaoz...lidat oso can aR?

N|rVaNa07 SG

I also took praticals at SSDC, and I remembered one of the intructors told us abt an incident on the on-road pratical 6 during the theory lesson.
He said last time he took this group out for pratical 6 in the afternoon, then there's this guy who met his friends on the road, then he while riding his bike, talked to his friends too. In the end, he ended up following his friends to Orchard. He called up SSDC and asked for help coz he is lost.
The instructor told him to park his bike at Orchard and take a taxi back. haha.

XiaoDi SG

yah got 1 case is 1 guy go road practice....
then ride the bike go buy 4d.
In the end, the public call up SSDC to report stolen SSDC bike found. SSDC then get it towed back....
When the guy buy finish come out (got long queue 'cause high price that time), found that the bike gone, then take cab back to SSDC. In the end,kanna scolding man.

TZM 77 SG

Ya...i heard this b4 too..

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TZM[x]

TZR SG

i oso got one joke, i invent one, dedicated to Ivan. hehehe here it goes...

got one day a guy after lesson, then end of lesson, he park bike liao, just walk away. Then the instructor shouted! OEI! Why never put back helmet!??!! Then the guy replied "Fuck U da day! I'm a singh da!

Muahaha, tough not funnie, but the moral of the story? BAYI SAVE $$ NO NEED BUY HELMET SIOL!

XiaoDi SG

my fren told me got 1 time he went for self-prac.
Then got 1 guy do figure 8, then his bike buang...
Suddenly, he saw the guy *boink*boink* hop hop untill about 2m away....
The instructer ran over and quickly turn off the engine, then he ask the guy what happen why he run so far away...
The guy then repiled that he scared the engine explode...... :p

Laksa SG

whahaahahahahhhahaha!!!

Laksa SG

wonder u guys heard of this story from bbdc....there was this guy who went for his orientation and prac 1 lah.....then when prac lesson start he went to take and put on his helmet.....unfortunately the helmets dun not have visors so he dunno which part is the front n which is the back and ended up wearing his helmet upside down thru out the lessons....the instructors are aware of it but purposely din let the poor fellow noe until end of the lesson. result---> fail prac 1

XiaoDi SG

sounds like wat happen to me...
I dunno how to tie the strap to the 2 ring mahz( first time wear helmet)
then just tie a "beuatiful" dead knot around the ring....
in the end kanna kan by the instructer.... :p
guys that took from ssdc should remember the 1st lesson paddle front and back that wan....
kaoz that time I 1st time sit on bike so very gan jiong, not becareful throw the clutch at full throttle...
In the end, *piak* landed on the floor... damn xia shuai man...
u guys got any pai sai incident happen during practice?

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I dun like to pillion, and I hate to be a pillion.

^TzM 53^ SG

i dedicate this to yr F.

kof-guy SG

that time during my 2a TP, got this ger she take wrong result slip and very very happy run out go get her 2a license. the tp tester chase her back then infron of the class "you are #A not #B, #B pass, you never pass!"

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vroom...tingtingtingtingti...vroom~

^TzM 53^ SG

woa lao..if me i sure run untill donno go where liao.... paiseh untill die...haahaa... but...these things happen loh....

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H0|d Me,H0|d mE...NeVeR |eT Me g0 UnTi| U'vE To|d mE..t0|d [email protected] | [email protected] T0 kNoW @nd [email protected] JuSt H0|d Me h0|d mE MaKe ME Te|| u I'm |N |0VE W|F Y0U

TZR SG

i remember one~ I was having Prac 3 at SSDC, then i first time take narrow plank. Then beside the narrow plank is the main road where cars learn to E-brake. Then i went up narrow plank, and lost balance, the bike dropped to the right and i jump “toing! toing!” out to the main road. Then i turn around heng no car siol~ IF not its a “real” E-brake for the cars liao~ hahaha Then the instructor use his side of eyes to stare at me as i quickly pick up my bike and run away~ hehehe.. :p

XiaoDi SG

Wah lan eahhhhhh....
xia shuai xia!
The tester so zek ark!
Heard from instructers that TP testers would camouflage as lamp post during the test....
dunno if real or not :p

^TzM 53^ SG

'toing toing' means u ..... bounce izzit??
woa buey tahan....haahaahaahahaahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahha....*stomache cramps*.....haahaa
woa...toing-toing....siaL~

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H0|d Me,H0|d mE...NeVeR |eT Me g0 UnTi| U'vE To|d mE..t0|d [email protected] | [email protected] T0 kNoW @nd [email protected] JuSt H0|d Me h0|d mE MaKe ME Te|| u I'm |N |0VE W|F Y0U

kof-guy SG

hahaha wu liao got wat to camo no lah. in the circuit got big big chair wif umbrella let the sit.
but on road then they gotta stand loh, u know mah, uncle liao, leg soft already, tired so must lean against the lamp post loh Very Happy

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vroom...tingtingtingtingti...vroom~

XiaoDi SG

Just found a good method to protect your bike... A person did this with his/her bike near my house....
He/she put a canvas over his/her bike, then put something there confirm nobody dare to touch.... Woman's napkin.... worst still stained wan! kaoz then not whisper ultra thin kind, is damn thick kind :p
I saw liaoz almost puke.... pple walk pass all keep away 2m. U guys can consider this method

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I dun like to pillion, and I hate to be a pillion.