from: http://www.letstalkaboutsex.sg/men/sexuality_1.asp
There is no easy way to say it, so here goes. No one really
knows - except you.
OK, so you would rather be chatting with your male friends. The
girls that the other guys are drooling over do not appear on your
radar. Or maybe the girl friends you have love your great tastes in
trends and fashion. (I remember all my female classmates
asking me to go shopping with them.)
A sensitive new age guy, metrosexual, gay? It is never so
simple, is it? Look, for all the fashionista or culture vulture you
may be, it does not mean you swing one way or the other just like
that. Whether you like sweat or cologne (or both), just don't rush
into conclusions when it comes to your sexuality.
Lots of smart people debate and research into it. Yet, it is
hard to say for certain what makes an individual gay. Some argue
for environmental factors, while others believe genetic factors
determine our sexual preferences.
No matter what the origin or attributes, one thing is clear -
whether you are gay or not is something that you will have to
carefully determine for yourself. It is your life after all.
Here are some facts. As you mature, you naturally develop as a
person, and so do your sexual preferences. Throughout your life,
it's quite natural to have role models. Because you admire them,
you would also feel strong attachments and identify with specific
groups or individuals.
This can be your close friend from school whom you hang out with
all the time. Or it can be that good guy from the office you can
knock back a few beers with, and talk about anything. As a matter
of fact, lots of us have army buddies who went through crazy times
with us and are still our best friends.
You can all share similar interests and tastes in movies,
fashion and other leisure activities. You thoroughly enjoy one
another's company and often feel a sense of loss without each other
around. But what if you've developed strong feelings for any of
these male figures?
We all tend to develop an attachment to people who understand us,
who encourage us when we're down, and who care about us. Don't be
surprised if you find yourself feeling strong emotions such as:
But is it love?
While some emotions may give you butterflies in the stomach and
make you giddy with excitement, they may not imply sexual
attraction. Give yourself enough time to ascertain the emotions you
are feeling. Regardless of sexual inclinations, crushes may not
lead to true love - however old - fashioned this may sound. And it
applies to all people.
It is also possible that other factors such as family, stress or
peer pressure may be influencing your emotions. It always helps to
talk to someone knowledgeable and sensitive about your feelings.
Don't repress your emotions. Talk is good in most cases.
Is there someone at home you can confide in? You may be
surprised that the best people who can help you are the ones you
are looking at every day. If there is no one close you can turn to,
help is available from experienced and professional folks.
Try these people, they are good.
Here's a dose of reality, like it or not. Homosexuality is still
officially illegal in Singapore. Those caught engaging in
homosexual activities can be arrested. OK, no one is going to come
barging into your bedroom, but let's be sensible and responsible
for ourselves.
Many in Singapore prefer a neutral stand. Don't ask, don't tell
seems to be the order of the day. The truth is more people are
realising that being gay does not make a person any less a part of
our community.
People in homosexual relationships are subject to the same
feelings of happiness, belonging, hurt and rejection. Even the
government has openly accepted gays in the civil service. To cut to
the chase, everyone in Singapore has equally important roles to
play in our society and economy.
Gay or not, it is safe sex or no sex. When it comes to
sexual health, homosexual couples, as with heterosexual couples,
should practice sexual prudence. While it is natural to be curious
about your sexuality, it is important to be wary of major sexually
transmitted infections such as:
No matter what your sexual orientation, always ensure that you
are protected. Exposing yourself to unnecessary health risks
through casual sex is not cool. It's a much better idea to take
good care of yourself.
So, what's it all about? Do you swing one way or the other? Is
it love or just sexual curiosity? Or are you just different in your
own ways?
Just do yourself a big favour, and take it easy. Talk to people
you trust; approach professionals, if you wish. You do not have to
walk alone. Enjoy your life.
Ever wondered where you can get free advice on general health
matters? Call HealthLine, the Health Promotion Board's toll-free
health information service available in 4 languages.
For personal advice on any general health issues,
call 1800 223
1313 during office hours to speak to our specially
trained nurse counsellors.
8.30am - 5.00pm (Mondays to Fridays)
8.30am - 1.00pm (Saturdays)
