Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other
areas.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in
order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your
shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the
correct protective clothing.
You'll retire well before reaching 65.
You're unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have
completed the
day's work.
And, finally, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving
the
workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
