IF SVEN STUMBLES TO WORLD CUP GLORY IT WILL BE THE GREATEST CON
TRICK OF ALL TIME
3 June 2006 - reade, mirror
I'VE CHANGED my mind about Sven Goran Eriksson.
He's not that Peter Sellers creation Chance The Gardener, who
became a US Presidential candidate due to his talent for spouting
utter banalities which were mistaken for genius.
He's more Guy Goma, the Congan who turned up at the BBC for a job
interview as an IT assistant only to be mistaken for a
recordindustry expert and dragged on to live TV to reveal his
wisdom on a subject he knew nothing about.
After watching the Sven circus lately, I'm beginning to think the
Swede turned up at Soho House for the job of chief website
archivist five years ago and was offered chief coach instead.
And whereas in the past he's let the senior players pick the team,
now his days are numbered he's decided to see how far he can push
his luck before he's sussed.
His decision to elevate Theo Walcott, ignore Jermain Defoe, persist
with Owen Hargreaves, and play key players out of position in alien
systems a week before a World Cup he's had four years to prepare
for is surely a cry to be caught by the cops.
He tells us nobody in the England camp is confused. Well, try
telling that to Jamie Carragher (below), who was gobsmacked to be
told 24 hours before the Hungary game that he was now a defensive
midfield player. So gobsmacked he got on the blower to Didi Hamann
in Germany to ask him what it is you're supposed to do in that
position.
Try telling it to Michael Owen, who knows as well as anyone that he
cannot operate as an isolated attacker. Not even when he's fit. Or
Steven Gerrard, who has never played as a second striker before.
He's been given licence to forget about defending and feed off the
attack, but he's never been asked to play with his back to
goal.
Sven's defenders say he's been dealt a body-blow by Wayne Rooney's
injury and needs to experiment with new systems to compensate. If
that's true it's the biggest crime on his burgeoning
charge-sheet.
When he inherited this socalled golden generation in 2001 he
predicted it would peak this summer. Back then the only Rooney we'd
heard of was the one who used to play alongside Judy Garland. So
how did he allow one as-then-unknown player to become so pivotal
that without him the golden generation loses all shape and purpose,
especially when the necessity to find a Plan B without Rooney was
spelt out to him in Portugal two years ago?
It is beyond belief, when you think of all the preparation that
goes into taking a team to a World Cup these days (the dieticians,
masseurs, dentists, pedicurists, etc), that the one thing he should
neglect is a winning system.
The main reason England won in 1966 was that Sir Alf Ramsey had
decided the previous year that the best way to impose his team on
the opposition was to play without wingers. So in all the warm-up
games that is how he played. It was rigid, it was criticised, but
it suited his needs perfectly.
He structured his squad in such a way that he had two players for
every position, and every one of those players knew what was
required of them. When Jimmy Greaves got injured he didn't panic
and push Jimmy Armfield into midfield, he simply called up Geoff
Hurst.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Sven is simply gaining comic revenge on a
country that made him a figure of ridicule, and when it all gets
serious he'll hit on an idea that makes us stumble towards the
final.
Maybe when it matters the nucleus of decent England players will
take responsibility and fashion a winning system between
themselves.
Maybe come July we'll see Peter Crouch doing a triumphant Kraftwerk
dance in Berlin as Sven sails off into the sunset with a puzzled
grin and a container-load of £50 notes.
Well Guy Goma pulled it off, didn't he?
