Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys of his age,
rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from
other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done.
One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became
flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny she told him to
hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and
her boyfriend.
This he did, and the following morning Johnny described everything
to his mother: "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while,
then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started to kiss and
hug her, I figured sis must be getting sick because her face
started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he put
his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like a doctor
would. Except he's not as good as the doctor, because he seemed to
have trouble finding her heart.
He was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started
panting and getting out of breath. His other hand must have been
getting cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time,
sis got toward the end of the couch.
This was when the fever started. I know it was a fever because sis
told him she was really HOT. Finally, I found out what was making
them so sick . . . a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow.
It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about 9 inches
long. HONEST! Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from
getting away. When sis saw it she got really scared. Her eyes big
and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and
stuff like that. I should tell her about the ones I saw at the
lake! Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its
head off. All of a sudden, she made a noise and let the eel go. I
guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held
it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it
over the eel's head to keep it from biting again.
Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on
it. And he helped by laying on the top of the eel. The eel put up a
hell of a fight.
Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset
the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squishing it
between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great
sigh. Her boyfriend sat up and sure enough they had killed the eel.
I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp and some of its
insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired
from the battle, but they went on courting anyway. He started
hugging and kissing her again. And by golly, the eel wasn't dead
after all! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I
guess eels are like cats they have nine lives or something.
This time sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it.
After about 35 minutes of struggle, they finally killed the eel. I
know it was dead this time because I saw sis's boyfriend peel off
the skin and flush it down the toilet."
Mother fainted
