ST, July 9, 2006
My brother touches me at night
Q : I AM a 16-year-old girl. My brother, who's three years younger,
has touched me on several occasions. He would touch my breasts
whenever I am sleeping. Now I am frightened and have difficulty
sleeping at night. Often, I will cry myself to sleep. I have not
told anyone about this matter but thought of telling my teacher.
However, I am afraid that she would tell my parents or make a
police report. What should I do?
Scared 'n' Lost
A : What a scary situation to be in when you can't even sleep
peacefully in your own home.
In your letter, you sound as if you are trying to protect your
brother and not give away the secret of his inappropriate
behaviour.
But it can only get worse unless something is done to make him know
that this is unacceptable. You cannot pretend any longer to be
asleep when he carries on.
I wonder what is preventing you from telling him to stop.
Instead of crying yourself to sleep, how about getting angry over
the fact that he has no respect for his older sister?
Touching the private domain of your body when he thinks that you
are unaware of it is devious. Even if there is a possibility that
something has sparked his curiosity about what a woman's body is
like, checking his own sister's body is morally wrong.
However bad you feel right now, it is not your fault.
If it is not possible for you to handle this situation on your own,
enlist the help of your mother or father or a family member.
You cannot suffer in silence and he cannot think it is okay to
treat his sister this way.
Can another adult in your family help?
Eventually, you will also need to confide in someone and share your
anxieties and fear from the time such trauma began.
Another option is for you to approach a family service centre in
your neighbourhood and tell them the problem.
Finally, remember this: Your body is your own and nobody has a
right over it but you. 
