The Electric New Paper :
S'PORE WOMAN MARRIES 5 MEN IN 6 YEARS
Hubbies get $10,000 each as dowry
Her marriages last less than a year. Religious scholars
say...
MEN heading off to Indonesia or Thailand to marry in secret have
made the news often.
By Faith Teo
14 July 2006
MEN heading off to Indonesia or Thailand to marry in secret have
made the news often.
But now, a woman is doing just that.
Mona (not her real name) has had five 'husbands' in six years and
she's thinking of taking a sixth.
Her marriages last less than a year.
Mona, 50, has three children and three grandchildren.
She uses a practice called 'kahwin misyar' to legitimise her
marriages, reported Berita Minggu.
Technically, it's a legal form of marriage that involves conjugal
rights but no other obligations.
In other words, both parties are not obliged to perform duties that
a normal married couple might, such as providing financial
support.
The Singapore Islamic Scholars and Religious Teachers Association
(Pergas) told The New Paper that marriages like Mona's are 'an
abuse of the Islamic religious rulings'. (See report on facing
page.)
SHE APPROACHERS MEN
Abuse or not, Mona says this type of marriage suits her fine. She
doesn't want to be saddled with obligations.
After divorcing her first husband six years ago after several years
of marriage, she made a trip to Batam, where she met a 38-year-old
imam (someone who leads prayers in a mosque).
He told her about his version of the concept of kahwin misyar, and
eventually became the first of her next five husbands.
She divorced the imam after eight months.
She claimed that four of the men she married are Indonesian, while
one is a Singaporean whom she married in Thailand.
The youngest, at 23, was less than half her age and the oldest, 43,
is her current local husband.
The beauty salon owner said she travels to Batam often on business
trips.
She also said she was the one who approached the men, some of whom
already had wives or girlfriends.
Mona claimed that she has other women friends who are doing just
what she does.
Each time, she would go through the local conventional legal
marriage with the man, with dowry, witnesses and a wali (a senior
male relative such as a father or uncle) to give her away.
Four of her marriages were solemnised in Indonesia.
The men continued to live in their own countries after the
weddings, with Mona visiting often.
She married her latest husband, a Singaporean, in Golok, Thailand,
late last year.
But the marriages have not lasted. Even the latest looks shaky,
with Mona complaining that the man is becoming more
'distant'.
'Each of my marriages lasted only between six months and a year,
because I realised we were not compatible,' she told Berita Minggu
during a recent interview.
LEAVES HUSBANDS WELL-OFF
But by the time she divorces them, the men would have been
comfortably set for life, she claimed.
She claimed each of the men got $10,000 in cash when they married
her, together with a dowry of prayer beads.
In addition, two of her Indonesian ex-husbands now own terrace
houses, each costing Mona $25,000.
She said she also financed a new business for the imam and bought a
car for another husband so that he could run it as a taxi to make a
living.
Her current husband, an already-married Singaporean working as an
entertainer in Bangkok, supposedly receives $300 a week as pocket
money.
She pays for the maintenance of his car and motorcycle.
Whenever any of them fall short of money, all they need to do is
ask her.
'If I have the money, what is wrong in helping them financially?'
she asked.
'I want every man that I marry to look good and live well. If they
are sad, I don't feel good. I have never regretted anything.'
In return, she gets the attention she craves. Even from the
husbands she has since divorced.
When she 'misses' one of them, she sends him an SMS. He then
replies to say if he can meet up with her.
If he can, she travels to meet him.
'I feel so appreciated and loved. When I visit, the man will come
to meet me enthusiastically. He keeps me company when I go
shopping, dining or just walking around.
'But the most important thing is that we can be together. It's very
enjoyable and satisfying.'
TEMPORARY MARRIAGES
The concept of entering into a temporary marriage to appease the
guilt caused by religious or social rules is not new.
In 2000, The New York Times published a story on Iranian temporary
marriages, called 'Sigheh'.
In a country where even holding hands is disallowed, couples had
been using Sigheh, lasting from a few minutes to years, to sidestep
the rules.
The concept, taking advantage of certain lines from old Islamic
scripture, allowed couples to have sanctioned sex.
In 2003, we reported a trend in the Middle East where rich Arab men
entered into temporary marriages with women from Kerala, India, in
order to have guilt-free sex with them.
Just two weeks ago, it was reported that Arab men have been paying
to enter into temporary marriages with local Indonesian women, then
divorcing them hours or days later.
The most popular destination for these Arabs is reportedly Puncak,
near Jakarta.
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