ADAPTED FROM 8 MILE SCREENPLAY
First Battle: Arsenic Wenger v Jose M, season 2004 - 2005
Arsenic:
This guy is a smoke artist, coming here to the Prem huh?
You better off shooting yourself off with Roman As hand gun
Playing this league will leave you lost without a paddle floating
like a geek.
You aren't in Porto, this the Major League.
You the new kid on the block, Ill smack you back to the
boondocks
Jose Mourinho, you look like a hoe hoe.
You and your arty-farty. Go manage in a league with Mick
McCarthy.
And what I tell you, you better use it. This league is for rock
stars, not lovers of Willie Nelson music.
Silly man, youre a hack. You just follow Roman so you can just get
your 2 cents back.
And when this season wraps up, youre going to look as stupid as
Alex F when I got him smashed up.
Im going to master this season, like I did when I went
unbeaten.
I dont know why they let you in on the EPL, you need to take your
ass across to Portugal to rot back in Hell.
Jose M:
This guys thinks his teams very nice, but hes a nothing if he
cant take the championship twice
His whole team looks suspicious only Paddy V and 10
bitches.
I look like a hoe, right? Thats ok. My team is as right as yours
is gay.
A collection of whinnies. So funny. You throw away a 10-point lead
like I can throw away money.
And you compare me to Mick McCarthy? When you cant even beat big
Sam and his geriatric army?
Talk about the Roman A, you just look on in envy, got nothing to
say.
And talk about smashed up, like you did to Alex F huh?
Tell you what A. Talk to us one day, when you and your team walk
away with the European Cup.
You are a disgrace. I can take this league like a rabbit in a
turtle race.
Come seasons end youll see me with a great smile. You listen to
your rock music when I pull away from you by 8 mile.
ADAPTED FROM 8 MILE SCREENPLAY...PART 2
Second Battle: Alex F v Jose M, season 2005 - 2006
Alex F: [AF boots off Keano and shows everybody how tough he
is]
I spit on you and your money! Sue me!
This League may be a horror flick but the Scotsman doesnt die in
this movie!
Battle with me? You got to be kidding! That really makes me believe
you have no interest in living!
You think anybody will listen to the shit you say? My spats with
Arsene are more interesting any day!
We get involved with pizza and spaghetti, you just sound like
dribble from a baby!
Ever since Porto I wanted a piece of you, so I can make you eat me
and commit suicide to.
Even without Keano as my leader, I'll still have enough to murder
your side and eat your liver!
I used to like your silly show, but when you gotta go, you gotta
go!
I Hate to do this and I'll like our little shit to last, so I'll
take pictures of my rear-end so you won't forget my ass!
Sure, you had one season - that's ok. But now I'll end your ass
with fuck you but have a nice day!
Jose M:
Boy, I think you were a little hard on Keano your leader.
So nice to see you fucked by Villarreal, Lille and Benfica.
This guy keeps screamin'! He's paranoid.
Quick! Someone get his ass another steroid!
He and Wenger sayin'
BLAH-BA-DE-BLOOM-BLAH-BLOOM-BLAH-BA-DE-BLOOM-BLAH!
I ain't hear a word you said.
BLAH-BA-DE-BLOOM-BLAH - you sound like you and the misers missing
it in bed!
Didn't you listen to Arsene the last time, Meat-head?
You're sayin' the same shit that he said!
Matter of fact, look at your fixture.
So many losses and draws - thats gotta to kill ya!
Common man! Make your team suspenceful!
Get some meat in your midfield instead of fielding 5 pencils!
And dont come to me unless you a get a better replacement for
Keano than Alan Smith and his washed-up utensil.
And eat my liver?
I got 'nuff cash to make Wayne, Rio and Ruud shit you and say "see
ya!"
And I'll even throw in a tip for you to go get Alan Shearer!
You can't hack it. And season's end, Glazer is going to put you in
a sack-it.
Want pasta? Go siesta. I'll get your ass and Wenger's done well
before Easter.
ADAPTED FROM 8 MILE SCREENPLAY...PART 3
Third Battle: Rafee B v Jose M
Look Look
While Jose just likes to talk tough
This psycho is nothing but all gassed up.
His ego inflated by a Russian Czar
But who's afraid of the Red Mafia?
1 billion, 2 billion, 3 billion 4
Howzbout that, Jose, want some more?
"I want 10 titles, 10 cups!" your master said.
Dont deliver and I'll have your head, cut you, bleed you before
you're dead.
Hey Jose? Got something to say? Against me?
I am a Spanish bum. I did struggle at LFC.
I did sign Crouch. He did shoot blanks. My Harman did get fucked by
your Essien tank.
I did get jumped 4-1 by all of your mother-fuckers.
But I did beat you when it really matters.
And you can whine all you want about THAT goal being dubious.
But my team did win the Champions League, all the way screamin'
"FUCK THEM CHELSEA BITCHES!"
This is the Kop. Home of heart and soul. Surprised?
You should be. In this place passion means more than wallet
size.
Dont understand me? Ask Steven G.
Don't you ever try to judge me.
You don't know what the fuck I have to carry.
Shankly, Fagan and Bob Paisley
Who have you got? Gullit and Vialli?
You're at Chelsea only for the money!
For a buck and a half you'll be out, next training Roman A's
lesbian army!
You're so fucked up full of Roman's shit, if that lemon came in a
cup you'd probably drink it.