related: Wait on or give-up?
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=122253
Hi, here's the story....
I (26yr-old) broke up with my 24yr-old ex about 2 mths ago but we
remained friends and I tried to keep an amicable platonic
relationship with her all this while till now. I initiated the
break-up coz she could not reciprocate and she didn't feel
emotionally connected to me. She wanted to part long time ago but
claimed that she didn't know how to bring it up (which I tot is a
lousy excuse, I think she really just wanted me as an insurance
option till someone else better came along but anyway.....) so I
did us both a favor and split.
Even though we split, I still held on to a tiny glimmer of hope
through our weekly blading sessions at east coast every sunday. She
doesn't skate well and very often I hold on to her hand and help
her up when she fell - all of this really brought so many happy
memories back. I guess till now I haven't been able to let go so
easily because of our weekly activities. She does admit she recalls
the good times too but tt's about all.
Just two days ago, I found out (through a 100% reliable source)
that she's been going out with several of these 30-something yr-old
men (married or not I don't know) one of whom (some wrinkly balding
ang moh who needs facial reconstruction in fact) has been
exchanging very intimate couple-equivalent communication with her,
the kind you would not say to someone who was not ur gf or bf I
asked her about whether she was seeing anyone else at the moment
and she gave me very generic answers like - "oh I'm seeing a lot of
guys now and all these guys know each other one". Basically she
denied being attached, officially. She's actually going out with
several "oldies" this I know for sure, but I strongly suspect she's
going out with the ugly angmoh. (I'm not a model or hunk but being
the fickle nutter that she begining to resemble, I guess she damn
well deserves the downgrade)
She and I both know that she's lying blatantly and I just feel
totally disgusted with how she can be such a wonderful actress. I
think her real intention is to flirt with all these "oldies" but
yet still be able to keep me interested enough (by going out with
me and supposedly in her own words "maintain friendship")
to remain waiting in the wings as an insurance option just in case.
Oh, I also think she's just asking me to go out sometimes when her
"oldies" are not free for her.
I think she's playing with fire - again in her own words "having
close relationships" with multiple oldies and leading all of them
on. She enjoys getting chased coz I suppose she finds it all
thrilling and fun with these oldies most likely paying for all if
not most of the bills and sharing their "interesting life
experiences and ""wisdom"" that comes from it" (which she says I
don't have coz of my age and that my life is too smooth-sailing and
problem-free and I'm unable to guide her as a mentor). (I think
she's crazy by complaining that my life is problem-free. Its true
that at this point in time I really do have no serious problems in
my life except with her lies.)
The little bit of hope (of patching up) I had was real but has now
all but vapourised. Anyway, I've had enough and I'm now truly
disgusted at all her lies. I have nothing against older guys but
with her naive and easily-excitable simple-mindedness which I know
very well, she's just making herself easy meat without thinking of
the consequences. I hate to say this about her because I once loved
her very much but it dawns on me that she making herself a rather
economically-inexpensive female canine by flirting with so many
guys simultaneously. She even suggested that I could chase her
too!! I absolutely abhor the thought of cheapening myself to being
one of her "playguys", so I'm making a clean cut off her from
today.
Anyway, my bone of contention here is that she's such a flithy
liar.
If you were me, would you simply believe what she says - that she's
not attached?
What do you think she's aiming to achieve by lying to me?