Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised, the administration rejects your request for the
following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other
areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts before you have completed the
day's work
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering
and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
