Hi everyone. I've got a boyfriend and I love him very much.
Though we may be busy with our own schoolwork and stuffs, we seldom
fail to meet each other at least a week.
Sometimes we're bored and there isn't any nice place to go to, he
likes coming to my place (only when there's no one home). Then we
always cuddle together and watch the television, always halfway, he
will automatically go into my room and just lie on my bed say he
sleepy and wants to sleep.
I like to tease him say he dirty and smelly and always try to pull
him out of the bed, but his strength is bigger, so in the end, I
always end up lying on him. Hmm, then in bed, he always tries to
unbutton (if I happen to wear a buttoned shirt that day) me and
says he wants to touch my boobs.
It's not that I don't allow him, I feel really awkward whenever he
tries to sneak his hands under my blouse. Okay I admit I quite like
that feeling, but it just doesn't seem right to me. I'm sure and I
know we won't and will not be having any sex.
Besides, my Mother once told me to NOT let any guys touch my boobs.
It just isn't right. Even though he didn't touch it, already I feel
quite sinful le. Then in SMS-es, he always request for such things,
like touching or asking me to strip.
I know it's only touching and I sound quite stupid or conservative
just because "My Mom doesn't allows me to". I, myself, already find
it going against my own principles and thinkings by letting him
going this far (unbuttoning). But my boyfriend is good enough to
stop whenever I loudly asked him to. He doesn't like to force me
either.
I feel like a failure, I feel that I can't satisfy him. Up to now,
I dare not hold his di.ck with my bare hands. Everytime I only
stroke his di.ck with his briefs on. Though each time only through
hugs and me stroking him, and his manhood is hard already, I still
feel so useless.
I'm not troubled because that I can't make him happy only.
Sometimes I keep thinking that he's with me because perhaps I'm his
first girlfriend that allows him to come this far, and not because
of love. But I really love him and I can't lose him.. I've got no
choice. Haix. I know I sound kind of naive and young, I'm only
17.
So, should I or should I not let him let his way?? Also, I'm
absolutely sure I will be so embarrassed with his hands on my
boobs. He's always "fingering" me though I have my pants on,
meaning, touching/stroking me trying to make me feel good. He keeps
wanting to insert his hand into my panties, and I don't shave, and
I always have a little foul-smelling discharges, I'm scared if he
touches them.. Yuck! It will be so disgusting and very, very
awkward..
Advices? Opinions? Suggestions? Anyone.. All please feel free to
post comments.. Thanks. Hopefully helpful ones, please do not joke.
I'm really feeling troubled and need help. Thank you all.
