How to deal with a modern, well educated singapore girls??

last SG · 2005-01-15T17:18:51+00:00

try using less singlish like "sianz" and "liaoz".

Danisdead101times SG

did you post your dog's pic in the dog's cafe?

http://www.sgforums.com/?action=forum_display&forum_id=1814

sbst275 SG

I dun have a scanner Embarassed

Gackt247 SG

having good PR could be one attribute for females to filter out the guys..

Danisdead101times SG

eh...use your hp to take pictures of your doggie then MMS to the mail and post lor~

sbst275 SG

Dun know how to use lah... Even you tell me, I also go blur

Gackt247 SG

seriously.. ur dog is so so cute.. Wink

reminds me of sparky from starhub advert.. it's a jack russel??

nypsteven SG

haha... thks to all those who responsed positively to the sub...

Sometimes, I asked myself why dont i just after go after the gal i like... something jus popped up and say "hey, u sure u want to make this move?"

Seriously, I'm not rich, no car, etc... and it takes time to build them up.... Rolling Eyes i think they know but some just cant wait... There are others who wants expensive as gifts such as a video cam as a brithday present (omg! Shocked ) some gals even like to boast how many "dumb dumb" are on their "waiting list".... hahahha...

Communcation is another thing i dont understand... i'm always doing the talking, about my life, wat i hv been thru, my philosophy of life, sch, workplace stories, etc.... i'm trying to see for signal from the other side if i'm too boring/lame/corny watever but they jus smile and smile and simle... i dont have achievements to boast or neither fastantic stories to say.... so i dont know wat's wrong.... Big sisters, can share wif me wat actually can arouse a conversation wif an opp sex??

gentlerock SG

I'm not a sister, but I'll just reply anyway.....

Some of the girls you dated don't seem very modern or educated leh. Or maybe they don't wanna talk and only want sex, I don't know.

Ok, seriously, if you keep talking about yourself, they may misunderstand that you're self-centered and only interested in yourself. So ask about them - many people need prompting to open up. Asking about them shows that you have some interest in knowing about them too (but of course don't ask for fun lah, be sincere). Ask and you shall receive.

Just pray that you don't encounter the monosyllable (almost) person, like I have:

Me: What shall we have for lunch?
She: Depends.
Me: Depends on what?
She: Depends lor. See how. You decide.
Me: What don't you eat then?
She: Anything lor.
Me: In that case, let go for French food Mr. Green (OK, actually I said chicken rice).
She: Don't want lah.
Me: OK, then we eat western food.
She: *quiet*
Me: You like noodles?
She: Can also.
Me: OK, we eat noodles.
She: Don't feel like leh.

Mad Mad Mad

Me: Don't eat lah. Lets go to bed instead.
She: OK!
(This last part is just a fantasy - it didn't happen)

keindall SG

might wanna try diverting the thread of conversation to the girl(s) instead of talking about yourself? ;p should work better.

elektra SG

Me: What shall we have for lunch?
She: Depends.
Me: Depends on what?
She: Depends lor. See how. You decide.
Me: What don't you eat then?
She: Anything lor.
Me: In that case, let go for French food (OK, actually I said chicken rice).
She: Don't want lah.
Me: OK, then we eat western food.
She: *quiet*
Me: You like noodles?
She: Can also.
Me: OK, we eat noodles.
She: Don't feel like leh.
SUggested line
You: Ok lor u buy
or
You: ok then dont eat lets go back

like2koon SG

haha..... that sounds like my relationship with my bf only there's a role reversal. get him to make a decision of any sort is like squeezing blood from stone. alamak...... all his answers to my questions are "anything also can" or "I dunno. You choose, I will go". What a doormat! There's gentlemanly (my gerfrens say that he is) and there's doormat (my male frens say he got no balls).

Rolling Eyes can't win

mistyblue SG

Having $ or car or whatever don't guarantee any success.
Having these might make you question if the girl really want you or the $ or car.

Communication is what you didn't get. As i said, it is not monologue which is exactly what you engaged in thus she will loose interest to even talk to you. Talk as in have a conversation, not you talk she listen. You guys must be talking about a common topic. Don't need to arouse what conversation, just be natural. I had guys who fill every silence with their voice. Others boast about themselves. Next are a bunch who was trying to look for sugar mummy, then there was this mommy boy who wanted a maid. How do I know all this? These men talk too much about themselves.

Whatever it is, it cannot be taught over some site and reading typed words. It requires fundamental change in the mental models about talk in the male mind. Men think talking is exchanging info, boosting egos and such. Women think its a form of shareing, emotional attachment. These 2 arrive from different points of view. in addition, if a guy really want to learn, he has to learn how to adapt his conversation style. Any such form of so call "learning" is in the form of coaching... forums are not the best ways to do this. Last of all you must be sincere.

elindra SG

I dunno I think sometimes making mudane decisions like what to eat is a chore Razz

What my husband and I do on who decides what to eat is that we make a game out of it. Depends on who goes, " You decide" first.

[email protected] SG

your problem lies in the title itself. read it and tell me what's wrong.

nypsteven SG

dont like that lah... juz trying to learn mah... something may go a bit haywire lah....

sorry to all ppl who replied but i still dont understand what u ppl are getting at (- the rubbish!!) Shocked

anymore voices i can hear from??

[email protected] SG

the problem is that they are well educated while you, you can use "a" with "girls".
tell me. how many girls do u mean when u say "a girls"? Laughing

rubic SG

about myself 1st:
i am well eduacated, professional degree sponsored overseas. going for a postgrad diploma and a masters. but i dont know if u call me modern. but i am confirm a singaporean girl. i have got a good new car an impreza, a pretty good decent salary abt 3k a month, am 23 this year. i like sports particularly running, cooking. am funny, alright looking and have an indpt streak.

how i would like to be treated on a date:
am not too particular abt who's paying for it. but i cant stand guys who are very insistent on paying esp when they are broke. y cant u just relax and let her pick up the tab for once and offer to pay another time (assuring yourself the next date).
i like guys who can talk about their jobs with a passion, talk about other cheem topics like ethics and pollitics (i actually met one guy like that).
no touchy stuff please esp on a first date. and definite no are your previous sexual conquests and what nots.
so long as u are pretty decent and can talk about stuff other then yourself, it should be alright. no tv shows or movies stuff cos that i feel is a little shallow. shows that u just do nothing but watch tv.

my ideal guy:
actually i met him but i dont think he is interested. he is everything i described above. but i guess i am not too ideal for him.
i want someone who can give me a sense of security.

what i would expect:
i wouldnt mind having kids and getting married and all that stuff. even quitting my job to stay home, cos i think kids should be looked after by parents not maids. but this is provided the financial situation allows it. would want a high powered career as i did not spend all that time in university just to get married. but i figure that can wait. esp until kids reach a certain age.

so really whats so difficult about dealing with a modern well educated singaporean girl. guys just need to mature a little. and be a little more gentlemenly with fewer swear words.

vito_corleone SG

well if he can't differenciate between singular and plural i don't think he's really capable of communicating properly Razz

[email protected] SG

u know I've always thought cooking was pretty fun, but I never really thought of it as a sport? Then again, there is such a thing called competitive cooking. Laughing

[email protected] SG

don't be mean. he is just "a boys"
Laughing

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