I am dating a younger man, so shoot me
SEXLESS IN THE CITY
NO buts about it, I am guilty. At least in the eyes of most of my
friends and family members.
For the first time since they have all been suspecting and
accusing, I have admitted that, yes, I am in love, in love and
proud of it, with a wonderful man.
And my sin?
He is seven years younger than I am.
Let me put things in perspective: I am 29, recently divorced, with
a beautiful and precocious 5-year-old daughter.
And I have fallen in love with someone who hasn't even gone through
his National Service.
As my best pal Joannie puts it, in between mouthfuls of her
favourite Boon Tong Kee chicken rice: 'Aiyoh girl, you might as
well be living in the middle ages and be accused of
witchcraft.
'This is Singapore in 2004. D is such a sweetie but you will die a
death worse than being burnt on the stake if you tell
anyone!'
I have denied how I felt and thought about how society, my family
and my loved ones would judge me.
I have read articles about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher; I
devoured articles about Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, Madonna and
husband Guy Ritchie, Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake.
For heaven's sake, the females are all more than a decade older
than their male counterparts.
Hello, my guy is definitely less than a decade younger than
me.
I thought that in this age of modern social mores, dating a younger
man was okay, all right and definitely acceptable. Man, I was so
wrong!
From the moment I introduced D to my closest friends and to my
parents, he might as well have been Exhibit No 326 in the museum of
Freaks and Weird Creatures.
They were all cordial, nice, warm even. But my acute sixth sense,
honed from years of spotting lame lies from 'sick' staff with MCs,
told me otherwise.
I may have been married before to someone I knew and loved since
college days. I have dated men my age, older than I am, and some
even one or two years younger than me. I have never felt the level
of freedom and comfort D gives me.
For the first time, I think I know what it truly feels like to be
loved with no pressure, no expectations and no demands.
The most common question my pals ask is: 'What can you guys talk
about? How can you both connect?'
My answer is always: 'I don't need to connect. I don't need to
talk. I am happy being with him.'
Coming from a hardened, worldly, single mother who has learned
life's painful lessons through personal experience, this statement
and justification seems lame.
Well, this is really how I feel.
What can an educated, accomplished, confident and (ahem) attractive
woman like me find in a 22-year-old, who hasn't even done his
degree course, much less finished his compulsory National
Service?
I cannot give a scientific answer. All I can offer is my heartfelt
and honest testimonial: I know he feels right for me at this
moment.
For the only time in my life, I intend to throw caution to the wind
and go with my heart. Whatever comes after, no-one but I will be
responsible for it.
However it ends, it will only add interest to my life's experience
bank. I can only grow stronger.
Perhaps if more Singaporean women would start thinking with their
heart, and with their natural-born instinct to love and give
without fear, our little nation may not be facing the 'headache' of
procreation activities.
Okay, you may all start shooting now.
Source: NP
