2-timing
wife gives S'pore man sex disease...
2 times
in...
2 months
Too much
Court agrees & annuls arriage in first such reported case
Trust turns bitter
# Lied about her past
# Posed for photos on sex site
# Gave hubby VD twice in two months
By Joycelyn Wong, NP
THEY were married after a two-month whirlwind romance. And that was
about how long it took for their marriage to be over.
Blow One: John (we are not using their real names to avoid
embarrassment) did not know it when he got married, but his wife
was a sex worker in Indonesia.
He found out only after his wife, Amy, left their condominium and
returned to Indonesia in June.
It was the first of three devastating blows.
Blow Two: She was offering her sexual services on a website.
Blow Three: She infected him with a sexually-transmitted disease -
twice - and put him in fear of contracting HIV.
When John, who is in his 30s, discovered that she was a sex worker,
he had already contracted gonorrhoea - a sexually-transmitted
disease (STD) - on two separate occasions.
Last month, the Family Court granted John's application for the
marriage to be annulled, based on the grounds that Amy was
suffering from a STD at the time of their marriage.
Such annulments are extremely rare. This is the first reported case
of its kind.
Figures from the Department of Statistics showed that of the 268
annulments last year, about 99 per cent were granted on the grounds
of non-consummation.
COULD NOT BE TRACKED
John's lawyer, Mr S Balamurugan, said Amy could not be tracked down
for legal papers to be served to her.
He applied successfully to the court to let the case proceed
without her.
Speaking to The New Paper, John recounted the short-lived
relationship that had taken many twists and turns.
For him, it had ended in fear - that he could have contracted
HIV.
In January this year, he met Amy, who is in her early 20s, through
a mutual friend.
Said John, who works in logistics: 'She was very loving and she
gave me a sense of belonging. I fell in love with her after we went
out for a few times.
'She seemed to be very serious about the relationship and we
decided to get married.'
John often travelled to Batam on business. He would contact Amy on
her handphone.
Amy, who is slim and has long hair, told him she was from Palembang
and had been a waitress in Batam for six months.
In March, they registered their marriage here in the presence of
John's family and a few close friends. He said no-one from Amy's
family turned up. They consummated their marriage but, two weeks
later, John noticed a discharge from his penis. He visited his
family doctor and was told that he had gonorrhoea.
'I was taken aback because I had been faithful to her since I met
her,' said John.
'When I asked her, she denied that she had STD. Besides, she looked
fine.'
John decided to let the matter rest. He was prescribed antibiotics
and recovered after a few days. He also refrained from having sex
with Amy for a while.
Dr Lee Wei Hong, a gynaecologist, said gonorrhoea is very unlikely
to be transmitted through mere physical contact or the exchange of
other bodily fluids.
'There has to be sexual contact before the bacteria can be passed
on,' said Dr Lee.
In his affidavit to the court, John stated that Amy was a social
visit pass-holder and would stay with him in Singapore for no more
than two weeks at a time.
'Whenever she was here, she would also ask me for money to send
back to her parents in Indonesia,' said John.
'She'd also throw tantrums for no reason and go back to
Batam.'
Then, in late April, John began having the same symptoms he had
during his first bout of STD. The doctor confirmed he had
contracted the disease again.
Amy was back in Batam at that time.
When she returned in June, John confronted her and they had a big
quarrel. Amy then left in a huff.
That was the last time he saw her. She also changed her handphone
number and he was unable to contact her.
He asked his friends to help him find her. They asked around Batam
and found out about a website which showed Amy's photos.
'She was featured with a few other women and the website also
stated that they were good in providing 'sensual erotic services','
said John.
With a heavy heart, he called the number listed on the website and
spoke to the person in charge, who confirmed that one of the women
was indeed Amy.
But she became unhelpful when he asked to speak to Amy, according
to court papers.
FREQUENTS NIGHTCLUBS
A check showed the website no longer exists.
John said his friends also found out that Amy had been in Batam for
two years and would go to nightclubs frequently. She also smoked
and drank.
'I was shocked and stunned as I was ignorant of her ways and her
reasons for going to Batam frequently,' said John.
'She had painted a completely different picture of herself. I'm
also angry with her for infecting me with STD.'
John, who is not in a relationship now, said he felt
betrayed.
'Never did I ever imagine that my marriage would end this
way.'
About three weeks ago, John went for an HIV test.
'My friends told me that I could get the results instantly so I
decided not to put it off,' said John.
'Thank God I was negative. I'm so relieved. Now, I just want to put
everything behind me.'
If Amy came back to him and apologised, would he forgive her?
'If she could lie to me about all these things, I don't know what
else she could do next,' said John.
'For me, it was all over months ago, when I found out the
truth.'
When a marriage is void...
OF the 6,561 marriages which broke up last year, only 4 per cent
were annulled.
The remaining 6,293 were divorce cases, according to figures from
the Department of Statistics (DOS).
There were 268 annulments last year, down from 287 in 2002. About
99 per cent such cases were granted on the grounds of
non-consummation in both years.
Last year, there were only 4 annulments that were not due to
non-consummation. DOS was unable to provide more information on
these cases.
You And The Law, a book published by the Singapore Association of
Women Lawyers, says there can be void as well as voidable
marriages.
A marriage is void - considered not to have taken place -
when:
# Either party is under 18 years of age and married without special
consent
# The parties are closely related and married without special
consent
# A marriage has taken place overseas, but not followed the law
there
# Either party is already married
# There's no valid marriage licence.
# The parties are of the same sex.
# In voidable marriages, the marriage is legal but can be annulled
for special reasons. This happens when:The marriage cannot be
consummated because of impotence
# One party refuses, without good reason, to consummate the
marriage
# Either party is of unsound mind or didn't agree to the marriage
of their own free will
# Either party had a sex disease at the time of marriage
# The woman was pregnant with another man's child at the time of
marriage.
Divorced wife after he finds out she had Aids virus
LAST year, a man applied to divorce his wife after he found out she
was HIV positive.
The Singaporean man, 41, had married the woman, 25, an Indonesian,
despite knowing that she was working as a prostitute in
Batam.
He had been her client before he married her in November
2000.
Five months later, he found out she was HIV positive when she had a
medical checkup as part of her application for a long-term pass to
stay in Singapore.
He did not contract the virus from her but applied to divorce her
on the grounds that there was 'no likelihood of reconciliation'
between them.
It is not known if the divorce went through.