LOCAL PUB-- Albert Shaw has never been a big believer in the
paranormal. But since he lost his job and started drinking more,
Albert thinks that beer is giving him visions, and perhaps a link
with a supernatural force.
Albert Shaw believes that beer gives him psychic visions.
"I never listened to any of that cosmic bunk before," said Albert
from his chair at Rosy's Pub. "I would laugh at most of the psychic
crap I saw on television: Miss Cleo, John Edwards, Friends.
However, I used to be a huge Bill Bixby fan."
"But, it was when I lost my job painting parking spaces--apparently
I was painting them criss-cross," continued Albert, "and began to
drink heavily that I started to notice these distorted perceptions,
subtle at first, visions perhaps of the future, like ESP. The more
I began to drink, beer mostly, the more I could 'see'."
Albert hasn't yet been able to interpret the messages he's been
receiving during his barley-based episodes. It may be that his
senses aren't completely "tuned in" to the "other side." Albert is
also having some difficulty remembering the visions the following
day, complaining of psychic headaches as a result.
"I can't really say what they mean yet," said Albert. "I get close
to comprehending a message, but then the vision alters, and it
feels like that gateway to another plain is shifting--like a room
spinning. I think I may have envisioned the Sports Illustrated
models alone with me on a desert island, but it's still very
clouded."
Albert has noticed that some of his own memories have faded since
he started drinking heavily, probably due to the emergence of his
psychic gift. He also claims that the mental energy he is expending
to comprehend the messages is making him lethargic, sometimes
preventing him from getting out of bed until noon.
"I realize that there may be some sacrifices," said Albert. "But
weren't these same obstacles faced by Confucius, Nostradamus, and
Jane Dixon?"
Albert's friend Lou has been transcribing some of his psychic
episodes. During the beer-induced visions, Albert tries to describe
the fuzzy predictions and skewed images, all the while drinking
more beer to enhance them.
"Most of what Albert is saying is slurred--like he's
channeling--and the more he drinks the more he slurs," said Lou.
"It's likely that he hasn't yet gained the voice to translate these
transcendental messages properly. I did notice that the visions are
also making him emotionally vulnerable--Albert mentioned that he
'loved me' and that I was 'his best friend in the whole fricking
world' during our last session. These psychic communications are
still too strong for him."
Despite the difficulties, Albert is continuing to take the visions
seriously, and he is putting his career and life on hold while he
focuses on the phenomenon of beer-induced psychic
hallucinations.
"I must be diligent in my quest for understanding," stated Albert.
"If it takes one case of beer, or ten cases, I will find the
answers I seek!"
