If you want to know how women really choose men, don't bother
asking a woman.
True, when it comes to relationships, women are in charge of the
selection process because they control access to sexuality -- they
let men "in" -- so you'd think they'd know exactly why and how they
choose their partners. But the problem is, women lie. They lie to
men; they lie to themselves (and they are perfectly capable of
believing their own lies).
If you ask any woman what she's looking for in a man, she'll come
out with a long list of ennobling qualities: a sense of humor; a
guy who's nice to her and treats her well; good values; a strong
moral character, etc.
Uh huh. Right. And she'll leave footprints all over Mr. Sense of
Humor as she scrambles to be first in line when an arrogant,
philandering, single doctor roars up in his Ferrari.
- woman, please
Let's be honest -- if women really chose men based on what they say
they're looking for, then every nice, average guy out there would
be besieged with females trying to go out with him. But nice,
average guys generally stay home on the weekends with a date from
the back room of the local video store.
Many women LIE. They are experts at self-deceit because if they
ever admitted to themselves what they really want from men, then
they'd be forced to acknowledge that they don't really want a
"nice" guy.
The most important reality a man can understand about female
behavior is this: never pay attention to what a woman says -- watch
what she actually does.
- truth is in her actions
And what does she actually do? When it comes to choosing men, she
heads straight for the cash. What women want most from men -- and
therefore the criterion most significant to them in selecting a
mate -- is money.
For the majority of women, dating and marriage are businesses.
Women marry up, not down. A man will marry a woman who scrubs the
floor at a slaughterhouse if she's nice and pretty enough -- but if
she's nice and she's pretty and she's working at the
slaughterhouse, you can rest assured she's there because she's got
her eye on the owner of the company.
When a woman says all the good ones are taken, she means all the
ones with money. The man who changes her oil or checks her
groceries might very well be a great guy capable of loving her
dearly, but she wouldn't even consider him as a potential suitor
because he doesn't have enough earning power.
Some women are blatant about their mercenary choices, openly
choosing men with substantial material assets that they can
sex-ploit. But most are subconscious hypocrites, screening out less
successful men without admitting it to themselves. They publicly
announce that all they want is a nice guy, but privately disregard
any men who don't meet their elevated standards for money, success,
and status.
There's proof that all they want is money
In one breath they proclaim, "I don't care how much money a man
makes. I can make my own money," and in the next, "But whoever I
date has to have a status (read: money) job." All other men without
this "status job," no matter how nice, intelligent or funny, will
be ignored.
The flagrant hypocrisy is brushed under the carpet. The only reason
a woman will choose a man without money is if he's on the fast
track to a high-earning career -- she views this as an investment
of her time and a payment plan for the use of her female
goods.
Clinical studies, conducted by Robert Trivers et al., show that
women value financial prospects about twice as highly as men do,
having higher standards regarding financial prospects at all stages
of a relationship. In fact, in any given year, American men who
marry generally earn 50% more money than men of the same age who do
not marry.
- woman want status
Women place a high value on a good education, the assurance of a
promising career, and ambition, all of which indicate potential for
making money. The socioeconomic status of males has a decisive
influence on female sexual response at all levels of intimacy, even
offsetting male unattractiveness. In one study, college women were
shown photographs of handsome and homely men in three different
attires:
Blazer, shirt, designer tie, and Rolex watch (these men were
described as doctors)
Plain white shirt (these men were described as teachers)
Uniform of a Burger King employee.
The women viewed the photographs with their descriptions and stated
their willingness to engage in relationships with the men. The
study found that the women were significantly more willing to
engage in relationships with high status/homely males than with
either the medium or low status, handsome males.
So money -- or the assurance of money in the future -- is the
single most significant criterion in how women choose men. The
blame for this phenomenon lies in our society -- a society which
promotes female arrogance and the manipulation of men; a society
which panders to females across the board.
In a day and age when women are screaming about equal rights, can
there be any excuse for the hypocrisy of female mercenary behavior?
When women earn as much -- or more -- than men, why should guys be
forced to hand over their hard-earned cash to women? And why should
men allow themselves to be chosen primarily on their ability to
earn?
- men love sex
The reason is simple: because men want sex, they let women get away
with this -- giving free rein to female sex-ploitation. Men are
brought up by their mothers to cater to women, to bring them
flowers, to hold open doors, to act as chauffeurs -- and to pay for
access to sex.
Most women will not allow access to that sex unless the man has
first shelled out quite of bit of money for drinks, dinners,
entertainment, etc. A woman expects a free ride just because she is
biologically female; she expects men to pay for sex. She will
vehemently deny this. But she chooses men in the first place
precisely because of their ability to pay.
This is wrong. Dating should be about partnership, not a whore/john
relationship. It should be about two people getting together
because they like each other and enjoy each other's company, not
because a man is paying for a woman's time. Women need to learn to
respect men, not use them and ruthlessly sex-ploit them.
But if male-female relationships are going to change for the
better, it's entirely up to us to enforce the change. If we stop
paying for women, then women will be forced to choose us for
qualities other than the size of our wallets.
