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I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and
women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars
& Venus thing. And, I never have figured out why men think with
their head and women with their heart. And, I never yet have
figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of
turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."
Last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion
starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it,
I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT?" So she says the words that I and every husband on
the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her
emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first
clue?" I finally realize that nothing is going to happen that
night, so I went to sleep.
The very next day we went shopping at a big unnamed department
store. I walked around while she tried on three very expensive
outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to
take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching
shoes worth $200 each to which I say OK. Then we go to the Jeweler
Dept. where she gets a set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you.
She was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short
of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared.
I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet
because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a
loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually
excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she
said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I
don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen
her face .. it went completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I
just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she
had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not
be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during Spring
2006.
---------> another classic!