What if your gf had sex with her ex bf?

winky SG

Your current gf had sex with her ex bf when the both of you were together, as an official couple. You found that out, either she confessed or someone told you. What will you do? How would you feel? Straight away breakup?

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I have this scenario here:

Girl tells boy to cool off awhile, because they quarrelled, or she not happy about something. Boy agrees to cool off, but they still haven't breakup, just cool off, because things are getting too heated up.

Then one day, girl meets her ex bf, they had sex(one-night stand). Then girl cool down, boy gets girl back. Happy for a while. Then she
(a)guilty, tells her current beau what she did when they were 'cooling off'
(b)by accident, the boy found out what she did
(c)her friends, by accident, told the boy.

What would the reaction of the boy be?
How would you feel if you were in the boy's shoes?
Which scenario (if you had a choice) would you prefer it to be?
Or would you rather not know that?

WinBoi84 SG

Well, I guess u haf did something wrong...

Haiz, u lucky girl got a bf who love u wholeheartedly I assume yet u did a terrible mistake.
If I am the Boy, I rather not knowing it for the rest of my life. But think again, is it possible. NO~! I dunno wat will I do next upon hearing the news, let alone put myself in your Boy's shoe...

Anyway, live well Girl. Treasure yourself, treasure the people around u who love, care and concern abt u...

jOhO SG

I offer you two personal answers.

What I think I would do:
Kick her out of the house and tell her to have a good life.

What I actually did:
Beg her to come back to my side. (She didn't.)

Go figure. Confused

WinBoi84 SG

In life, there will be many ups and downs...
No ups, no downs = No life...

I believe that after a heavily pouring, there will be a nice rainbow at the end of it.
I also believe that after a smooth journey to the tip top of a mountain, u will fall down immediately...

Go figure it out...

the Bear SG

why do we do such things?

follow our hearts to its own detriment and get handed it back battered, bloodied and bruised....

what we would think we would have done, we cannot bring ourselves to do...

what we say we would not, we'll abandon ourselves to...

in the end, we find ourselves emotionally scarred, mentally exhausted, spiritually mangled...

some give up hope... some become hardened... some are shattered for life...

some, pained, try to pick up the pieces to move on...

winky SG

Actually, I'm not really asking for advise, but I just wanted to know what will you do if such things happened (touch wood!!) to you.

I know we need to treasure people around us. I know people make mistakes. But are you willing to give the sinner another chance? Can you do what you preach? Its easy to say things when they are not happening to you. But have you thought of what if it really happens to you? Will you ask her to fcuk off!!? Or beat up the ex bf? Or withdraw yourself into a cold world mode? ......

Many possibilities. I'll like to discuss on the kind of possibilities rather than say very chim chim things about life.

its what we do that counts, not say. Agree? Very Happy

(ps: not trying to be a smart alec here)

the Bear SG

like jOhO showed us.. what we think we'll do, is usually totally different from what we will do...

WinBoi84 SG

My mind tells me this...
But my heart tells me that...

In the end I maybe act on impluse without thinking, or thinking very carefully before deciding wat to do next. Maybe the time of considering is very long...

Most ppl will react in your mentioned 3 ways - Will you ask her to fcuk off!!? Or beat up the ex bf? Or withdraw yourself into a cold world mode? ......

Like I say, I dunno wat will I do next upon hearing the news, let alone put myself in your Boy's shoe...

WinBoi84 SG

Zhong's Quote of the Day...

Sometimes I really think all girls sux...
>wonder whether is any good girl still exist in this world<

Girls Like to make use of guys especially when she knows u are fond of her. U can invest all your love, spend all your energy, spend all your money, spent all your times on her. It's still useless...

When u are no longer haf the value of being used, she will "dump" u...
But u cannot get over her becoz u really love/like her yet she treats u in such cruel ways...
Time flies - seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years later...
And one fine day, u finally get over her. She appears before your eyes once again...
Now your feeling is back and u are sure that u truthly like/love her...
She makes u gian gian, thinking that now she likes u, she wants u to be her bf/husband but u are sure she is the only one u love most in your life...
Next u can invest all your love, spend all your energy, spend all your money, spent all your times on her...
And it starts all over again...

WTF does good girl hidding...?
In the first place ask yourself, is there really good girl exist in this cruel and realistic world...? Confused

winky SG

Originally posted by WinBoi84:
[b]Zhong's Quote of the Day...

Sometimes I really think all girls sux...
>wonder whether is any good girl still exist in this world<

Girls Like to make use of guys especially when she knows u are fond of her. U can invest all your love, spend all your energy, spend all your money, spent all your times on her. It's still useless...

When u are no longer haf the value of being used, she will "dump" u...
But u cannot get over her becoz u really love/like her yet she treats u in such cruel ways...
Time flies - seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years later...
And one fine day, u finally get over her. She appears before your eyes once again...
Now your feeling is back and u are sure that u truthly like/love her...
She makes u gian gian, thinking that now she likes u, she wants u to be her bf/husband but u are sure she is the only one u love most in your life...
Next u can invest all your love, spend all your energy, spend all your money, spent all your times on her...
And it starts all over again...

WTF does good girl hidding...?
In the first place ask yourself, is there really good girl exist in this cruel and realistic world...? Confused [/b]

Okie... I'm a black sheep. But there are some over at the boys side as well.

Good girls do exist. I have plenty of friends that are real good decent girls (I know that because I'm a girl too, they don't need to act good and decent to me) but they don't have bf. Not because they don't want or they shunned away from men. More because guys don't go after them because they are not much of a looker, plain Janes.

Even the plainest boys go for pretty babes(I know not all of them are that shallow), but looks does play a part too. Cannot deny the fact that if the girl is not a looker, you probably won't even notice her in the first place. You probably would notice the 'chio-er' girl beside her. What more to say to get to know her better and like her?

Then again, girls nowadays are getting more calculative, more materialistic and practical, just as boys still goes for the hot bod, sexy butt, great looker.

-->checked: I admitted I'm not a saint. I'm a sinner. I am also guilty of some of the deeds mentioned. Embarassed

the Bear SG

my ex was my friend long before we were romantically involved...

there are still good people around... the thing is that the world has evolved such that the good people are not heard from anymore, and the bad things are talked about over and over again...

hence the shift.. people see being "not good" as a way to success.. they may have problems with their conscience but after a while, the little whisper is lost in the noise... some bury it for good...

so there is a perpetuation of things which will cause sadness..

however, there are still a lot of good people out there.. i hope to be counted in their ranks one day Smile

WinBoi84 SG

winky, I dun mean anything. They are my thoughts, my feelings...

Well, I dunno how to advise u. I think for now the best is tat u prepare for the worse tat can be, in order not to hurt yourself most. Time heals, let nature takes its course...

Well, if all cannot be solved. Take a break, rethink abt life and start all afresh over again. I agree that noone is saint and will tend to make mistake. Let bygone be bygone and must remember not to commit the same mistake again.

Live well girl...

erijazz SG

I had this experience before...when i was wif my ex gf, we had an argument and decided to cool off. When we're back together, she feel guilty and told me tat she had a one night stand wif a guy Shocked after sharing her relationship and a shoulder to cry on.
Sad Honestly i don't feel good abt it but wat the hack. It's just a one night stand and they won't meet each other again. There is nothing to scream abt it, all i care is tat she still love me and be honest wit me tat i don't have to find out from someone esle.
Cool btw, ger are human too

winky SG

One night stand with a stranger, there is low possibilities that she won't meet each other again. But her ex? After all, they had done that before you came along? Wouldn't you feel threatened?

winky SG

no no... Not offended. hope you are not offended by me too.

The girl now loves this boy wholeheartedly. What say you if you were a friend of this girl, what would your advise be? Tell him? Or don't?

Fiacla SG

It depends on how much the BF trust the girl...

If i really love the girl deeply, i maybe hurt, but i will forgive her.

Fiacla SG

So you wanna know how to tell your BF? So ask yourself, he really love you deeply? Is he a forgiving guy? and since you are in relationship with him, do you think he will forgive you? If so, tell him... If not, its only a ONS, then forget it if you are able to...

the Bear SG

it's not "only" a ONS.. it is something more to it...

to the one who succumbed to temptation:

how come you did not respect your relationship enough?

if you are willing to "make the mistake", what's going to happen in the future even if your partner forgives you?

was it fair to your partner? why, when you were "most vulnerable" it did not even occur to you that the same thing is happening to your partner too? that your partner is also at the same time, "most vulnerable"... do you really care for your partner?

to the "wronged party":

questions abound... will your partner do this again everytime you have a disagreement?

when you were thinking only of your partner, he/she thought about his/her own vulnerability and need instead of the partnership... does he/she really care about the relationship?

how can you learn to trust your partner again?

it is not just an ONS.. it is a symptom of something deeper... goes straight into how each party views the other.. and how much each cares for the other...

erijazz SG

Wink Agree Exclamation
Then again...most guys are egoistic and fill wif pride. they can be a loving and forgiving guy but come to this issue it might turn out otherwise. If you are not seeing your ex bf anymore...keep it a secret and give your bf a beautiful memory. Mr. Green

the Bear SG

i'm troubled... because the "most guys" turns up...

what if the guy was the one who went to bed with his ex... what kind of "advise" would you be giving?