http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0604.html
HYMEN STRETCHING
Dear Alice,
I am (still!) a virgin and have a question about the hymen. I know
mine is not entirely intact, because I did a lot of horseback
riding as a child. But as I'm not a tampon-user (nor wish to become
one), I'm not exactly sure how painful intercourse will be, for the
first time, nor what will happen to the hymen.
I always assumed it was a thin membrane that, upon penetration,
would shrink evenly to the sides. But I seem to have what you might
call a flesh tab, and though I've looked at pictures offered in Our
Bodies, Ourselves, I'm not sure I understand how an opening will be
created, and have the horrifying idea that a piece of flesh is
going to drop out or be torn right out of me. Is it normal to have
a flesh tab? What will happen to it? And if I tried inserting a
tampon, would that facilitate the tearing process? Please
help.
Yours,
Tawanda
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Dear Tawanda,
The hymen is a thin membrane, with a space or spaces for periods to
flow through, which partially blocks the opening of the vaginal
introitus, or vaginal entrance. Hymens are stretched or torn during
the first experience of sexual penetration, or with tampon use or
other non-sexual activity. It can also be stretched with fingers.
Some females are born without hymens. Once torn or stretched, the
hymen becomes an irregular ring of tissue around the vaginal
opening.
From your description, it sounds like your hymen is partially still
in place. This need not cause you any concern. This flesh tab will
shrink to the sides of the vagina following increased pressure on
the hymen, through tampon, penis, or other object insertion in your
vagina. You could also stretch your hymen yourself. It is a
relatively simple procedure. Place a finger into your vagina (which
can be lubricated with lube or saliva) and apply pressure on the
vaginal entrance by pressing downward toward the anus. Keep the
pressure on for a few minutes, then release it. Repeat this
procedure several times, each time with a little more pressure.
Then insert two fingers and apply pressure to the sides of the
vaginal entrance, in addition to the downward stretching. This
whole process can be repeated over several days and usually reduces
any discomfort during a first experience of intercourse. However,
keep in mind that in the majority of cases (though every female is
different), the first coital experience is generally nontraumatic,
with limited discomfort and minor, if any, bleeding.
Alice
