Road Power
Rating
* = Sup sup
soy
** = Grin and bear
*** = Don’t blink, just overtake
**** = Alert and avoid
***** = Don’t blink,
just pray
Unrated =
Unbeatable
—————————————————————————————
Horn hitters, are drivers that as soon as the
light turns green they beep at you. These horn bastards don’t miss
a beep at every possible chance - they hit the beep as soon as you
begin to park, they hit the beep when they want to go straight on a
left turn lane, they hit the beep for no reason at the red light
and they hit the beep for sound test when everyone else is
stationary in a traffic jam.
Road Power:
**
Brake bangers, are
drivers that for no reason, enjoy banging their brake pedals every
3-seconds on the road. These idiots have too much brake liquid to
spare and are usually drivers with poor sense of speed; they over
accelerate and bang their brakes twenty times in one minute on any
lane in any situation.
Road Power: ***
Slow pokers, are not
only drivers that hog the road. They also apply to law abiding
idiots who follow the speed limit at first lane. These idiots are
either too scared to go fast or too scared of hitting others.
May apply to intellectual wannabes who are slow not because
they are scared, but because they actually read all the signboards
(including the Speeding Kills ones). These drivers have the
power to single handedly, stall any traffic on whichever lane they
choose to travel in.
Road Power: ***
Road reporters are
self-declared journalists cum drivers who complain, swear and
comment about every other driver on the road. Prone to graphic
violence with the flash of a finger, they are vulgar but harmless
and don’t usually create problems for other drivers. Road reporters
always think they are right, always talk a lot and the only people
they annoy are themselves and their unfortunate passengers.
Road Power: *
Rick Revvers, are
children in need of attention. Often drivers in modified cars with
bad color and design combos, these children are attention whores
looking to compensate. They rev their car engines even when no one
else on the road is looking at them, even when no one gives a damn
about who they are or what they drive. They are always the first to
move off and usually the last to enter the first lane on an
expressway because they are too busy checking out people checking
them out.
Road Power: *
No Signal drivers
have broken middle fingers. They are also misers who will stoop to
every method imaginable just to prolong shelf life of the car
battery. They have no belief in giving signals. They do not give a
signal when changing lanes and making a right or a left turn.
Driving accumulates bad experiences for these misunderstood morons
and they are hot favorites with horn hitters and road
reporters.
Road Power: ***
Squeeze Suckers, are drivers with fetish for
everything tight. These suckers want to squeeze themselves into
anything. As long as there is the chance of a perfect fit, any
space at exactly their car length will do. They squeeze into space
between two traveling cars and cause a road accident and they
typically evolve into the kiasu driver in twitching cars
that suffer from spasm.
They will squeeze into a space smaller than their own cars at a
merging lane because other drivers beside, behind and in front of
them will eventually be sacred enough to back off and give way.
Road Power: **
Fast Freddies are
role models for children in modified cars. These drivers will come
up behind your buttocks looking for a kiss, use their bright lights
on purpose and signal you to move off because they think they can
run you over. When you give way, they move in front of you and turn
into slow pokers. These people are involved in a lot of accidents
so they always remove themselves from the roads
eventually.
Road Power: ****
Lane Loiters are
drivers with their own idea of drifting. These drivers travel only
on two lanes and only between markers. They don’t have a clue about
where they want to go because they never have to decide.
Descendants down the bloodline of taxi
drivers, lane loiters are natural born king of roads because
everything belongs to their grandfather. Lethal when combined with
slow pokers.
Road Power:
***
Combined Road Power: Unbeatable