Now that American Idol is over, were looking forward to our own
local version. But what can we expect? Well, thanks to some
judicious digging, we know what we wont be seeing
EPISODE : ANITA SARAWAK appears as a guest judge
RATIONALE : Shes our biggest international music star.
WHY CANNOT : Skarly the winner also cabut to Las Vegas like her,
then how?
EPISODE : FANN WONG appears as a guest judge
RATIONALE : Shes proof that with the right production behind her,
anyone can release an album.
WHY CANNOT : No, shes not
EPISODE : DICK LEE appears as a guest judge
RATIONALE : Hes Singapores most well-known local songwriter
WHY CANNOT : He used to work for the Other Side.
EPISODE : SINGAPORE COMPOSER WEEK
RATIONALE : The contestants sing well-known local songs by
well-known local composers
WHY CANNOT : Well-known? WELL-KNOWN? You go and find, lah!
EPISODE : RINGTONE WEEK
RATIONALE : Contestants sing the top ten most popular ringtones.
Sure to please our telco sponsor
WHY CANNOT : Contestants probably not polyphonic enough
EPISODE : WILLIAM HUNG appears as a guest judge
RATIONALE : Hes famous, and maybe hell give our contestants
hope.
WHY CANNOT : Skarly they all worse then him, then how?
EPISODE : FOLK SONG WEEK
RATIONALE : Contestants sing local folk songs.
WHY CANNOT : Speak English and Mandarin Campaigns sure to
complain
EPISODE : SCHOOL SONG WEEK
RATIONALE : Contestants compete against each other with their
school songs!
WHY CANNOT : Schoolkids are stressed out enough without also being
ranked by school song
EPISODE : BATHROOM EPISODE
RATIONALE : Contestants compete by singing in a bathroom, where
they probably honed their craft.
WHY CANNOT : Idea stinks
EPISODE : R&B WEEK
RATIONALE : Everyone on American Idol is trying to sound black,
so why not the Singaporean contestants too?
WHY CANNOT : Because when Singaporeans try to sound black, the
listeners turn pale
EPISODE : PAP WEEK
RATIONALE : Hey, they make all the judgments in the country, so why
not have them judge our singing too?
WHY CANNOT : Eh, this is a singing contest, okay? We need people to
open their mouths. If the MIW come, everybody sure shut up.
EPISODE : ORIGINAL SONG WEEK
RATIONALE : Singapore goes one up on American Idol! Contestants
perform their own original songs, not just cover versions.
WHY CANNOT : You want Singaporeans to come up with anything
original? Eh, even this show is a copy, okay!!
