Dear Diary,
Funny how it seems, one thing/person can mean the world to a
person, but the person means nothing to that thing/person.
To each and every human being, the Earth is our world and we cannot
do without it... but to the Earth, a single human being is a mere
speck of dust on its lands.
To a dying plant, a drop of water is a ray of hope, a chance at
life again... but to the drop of water... I don't know.
To the person who means the world to me, I doubt I even take up a
space the size of a cell in his heart.
I have... been waiting for 4 years.
Maybe I'm just deluding myself. Maybe he doesn't mean that much to
me. Maybe I thought he did because... he came as a light in my
darkest moments. Maybe, maybe if I looked harder, I'll find someone
to replace him?
I am tired tired tired. I don't want to think about him anymore but
he just keeps appearing in my dreams and I can't control that. I
thought I had let go of everything finally, after I kept away all
that stuff - the photos, the present, and.... and the wallet I had
been using for 4 years... but I was wrong.
I feel stupid, to wait for so many years for someone who doesn't
remember, or doesn't want to remember.. or talk to... It's like
waiting for a new planet we can all live on... It's a long wait
that's futile in the short period of my life span...
I need help... thoughts of him just blind me to a way out, to a new
beginning to something, but the help must come from myself... When?
