By Mark
Spoonauer, Laptopmag.com | LiveScience.com – Sat, May
4, 2013
Smartphones are getting smarter all the time, but the people using
them aren't necessarily doing so. Today, we have devices at our
disposal that snap photos faster than you can blink, surf the Web
at speeds that make your home broadband jealous and download apps
that can do everything and anything. So why are we so dumb
sometimes when it comes to using these powerful pocket-size
computers? If you do any of these 10 things with your smartphone on
a regular basis, you probably don’t deserve to own one.
Obsessively Take and Share Pictures of Food
Hey, look at this chocolate cream pie I made! And these kung pao
chicken tacos! And don’t forget my blueberry limoncello cooler! I
love food as much as the next guy — in fact, "Restaurant:
Impossible" is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. But I just
don’t get this obsession with taking photos of eats and sharing
them with Facebook and Instagram friends. The only time I want to
stare at pictures of food is right before I order it off of a
menu.
More: 10 Best Android Smartphones
Try to Settle Arguments via Texting
I don’t know when this happened, but at some point humans thought
it was a good idea to text a loved one or friend with their anger
or disappointment instead of actually talking to them. Yes, sending
a text is easier, but you lose two very critical ingredients:
context and tone. (No, emoticons don’t count as tone.) I’ve seen
way too many seemingly innocuous exchanges devolve into digital
shouting matches over a texting misunderstanding. Hey, you could
always Skype video call to apologize so they know you mean it.
More: Top 10 Unfriendable Mistakes
Use Your Smartphone as a Lighter at a Concert
The first time I saw thousands of people use their phones at a
Coldplay concert as a lighter replacement I thought to myself,
“That’s cute.” Five years later, I think it’s time to move on.
Today, you can download all sorts of apps that look like real
lighters, including a Zippo lighter that opens with a flick of your
wrist and a turn of your thumb. How meta! I would rather you blow
cigarette smoke in my face than witness this display of mass
stupidity.
More: 15
Craziest iPhone Cases
Take Too Many Selfies (Duck Face Included)
Part of me wishes that front-facing cameras on smartphones were
never invented. That’s because way too many people feel the need to
take self-portraits and share them with the world. “Look at me out
with my friends drinking — again!” You know the type. For these
people, the smartphone should be smart enough to cap how many
selfies they take. Siri: “That’s enough, Jenny. They get it.” And
while we’re on the subject, please avoid taking selfies with
your duck face
on. Even as an ironic gesture, it’s over.
More: How to Take the Perfect Profile Picture
Use Your Phone as a Boombox in a Public Space
Today’s smartphones can get pretty darn loud — the HTC One’s dual
stereo speakers come to mind. In fact, a commercial for the phone
has some hipsters rocking out to the device in the middle of a cafe
(or bar, I can’t tell). The problem is that no human being should
ever do that, unless your goal is to annoy everyone else around
you.
I’ve seen lots of people in New York City use their smartphones as
mini boomboxes, not realizing how disturbing it can be to others.
Unless you’re John Cusack from "Say Anything," plug in headphones.
Actually, him too.
More: 12 Best
Music Apps
Taking Calls or Incessantly Checking Phone in
Elevator
Think about how long you typically spend on an elevator ride, even
if there’s a few stops along the way. We’re talking 20, or maybe as
many as 40, seconds. And yet, as a society, we’ve become so averse
to eye contact and real human interaction that we’d rather stare at
the same inbox or Facebook news feed that’s waiting for us five
feet from the elevator door.
Worse, some of us make the horrible decision to continue a call as
we get on the elevator, making the obligatory announcement that “I
may lose you; I’m getting on an elevator.” I have a better idea.
Wait!
More: 10 Best iPhone Apps You're Not Using
Shooting Videos in Portrait Mode
I literally cringe every time I see someone shoot a smartphone
video vertically instead of horizontally. “Don’t you know that your
video is going to look cut off?” I say to myself. A lot of folks
just don’t know any better, but there’s hope. A
hilarious PSA video started circulating last summer
from Laughing Squid that clearly illustrates the problem using
puppets. Even if you know how to shoot video the right way, you
need to watch this clip.
More: The New Smartphone War: 7 Apple and Samsung
Challengers
Use Apple Maps for the iPhone
As much as I appreciate finally having free turn-by-turn directions
on the iPhone, Apple’s Maps app should not be your go-to choice.
For starters, you need to use a third-party app to get public
transit directions, like Waze or Google Maps. The app also still
suffers from serious inaccuracies. When I searched for Brio Tuscan
Grille in my hometown of Freehold, N.J., Apple Maps displayed a
location on Route 9, while Google Maps accurately showed the
restaurant in the area mall.
Here's another annoyance. Oftentimes Apple Maps doesn't know where
you are. For instance, after searching 550 Fifth Avenue while in
New York City, the first search result that appeared in a list was
in River Edge, NJ. Unless you like starting at fancy 3D flyovers, I
would stick to Google Maps until Apple can work out the kinks.
More: Top 10 Apple Maps Alternatives
Smartphoning While Walking
Would you ever walk across a busy intersection with your head down
if you didn’t have a smartphone in your hand? If you answered “no,”
congratulations, you’re sane. So why is it OK to risk your life
just to like your friend’s snarky comment about Gwyneth Paltrow’s
see-through dress? Fortunately, some folks are working on
litigating some common sense into your brain. Fort Lee, N.J.,
issued a ban against texting while cross the street, and Nevada has
introduced a similar bill.
More: Why Texting While Walking is More Dangerous Than You
Think
Keep Notification Volume on Full Blast All the Freakin’
Time
I totally feel you. You don’t want to miss that critical tweet
about the latest “Man of Steel” trailer. But when you’re heading
into an important meeting, the last thing your colleagues want to
hear is “DROID” screaming from your phone or that damn Samsung
whistle coming from your Galaxy. Do the world a favor and drill
into your settings and do what needs to be done. Or I’m going to
hunt you down and turn it off myself. Unless I’m using Apple Maps.
Then you’re safe.