A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I
haven't
seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible!"
"What do you mean? I'm fine." said the pirate.
"What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate, "we were in a battle at sea, and a
cannon
ball hit me leg, but the Doc fixed me up, and I'm fine,
really."
"Oh yeah? What about that hook? The last time I saw you, you
had
both hands."
"Well, we were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship.
I
was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off, but the Doc fixed
me
up with the hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," said the bartender, "what about that eye patch? The last
time
you were in here you had both eyes."
"One day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the
ship.
I looked up and one of them dumped a turd in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't have lost
an
eye just from some bird droppings!"
The pirate said, "It was me first day with the hook."
