Not only that my physical body is pain due to the abortion, my
heart is also very painful. Juz when i'm down and am in need of his
love and support at this time, the mother's son of a bitch aborted
me. 
Why does this have to happen to me?
My mother re-married to a man whom is a Christian. And she has
since baptised and is now a Christian too. She invite me to live
with her so that i could continue to enjoy the home cooked food. I
started to feel the family bonding and love after all these years.
I getting more mature and the invisible wound in me also started to
heal soundlessly. Than, i met John in my working place. Although
John doesn't have a stable job and income but he always there for
me. Waiting for me in a quiet corner in my working place everynight
just to see and send me home. He shower me with alots of love i
missed from my previous love. His sincerity also touches me deeply.
Soon, our love blomson very fast like a bullet train. :love4:
Financially, John is a poor chap. He has no bright future. But he
can give me alot of love and care i have been lacking of since i
was young. So, i dont mind giving him all i have in exchange for
unlimited love i always wanted. I started paying for his
everything. From his handphone bill to his football gambing debts.
I dont mind doing that becos money is not important to me. But, i
was wrong again. Due to the nature of my job, i met many male
customers. John started to feel insecure and he feel worried that i
might leave him for someone better and therefore he plant black
magic on me so that i would be in control by him. He used the
spirit of my aborted child to control me whenever i'm not with him.
I would feel sick, restless and moody. But when i get back to him,
i feel energetic. Is weird but no one feel anything amissed in me.
As such, this thing was dragged for sometimes untill finally the
sky opened it eyes for me. VL á!
Peoples around me started to realise that i sometimes talked to
myself. As for me, i know i was not talking to myself. I was
talking to a boy. I always see him around. Sometimes playing by
himself, sometimes come near to me and therefore we talks. For
this, my family sent me to the Woodbridge hospital again. I scolded
the nurses there for restraining me. I struggle to break free from
them and thus, they tight me up and isolate me in a pole bed. My
mother and her family are Christian and therefore question like
spirit and black magic would never come into her mind. They thought
i was too stressful with work. It was my cousin that saved me. My
cousin is a Buddhist. There was once when she was in the hospital
visiting me, she saw me talking to someone she cant see but my eyes
was looking down. She suspect that it is a child spirit talking to
me. Quickly, she recalled that i had a history of abortion. As a
Buddhist herself, she also believing that child spirits would
continue to stay within their mother if ritual for them to
reincarnation is not done after abortion. (Chinese believe that
once a foetus is formed in a woman, it has heartbeat, it has life.
That's why, the age starts counting from the month the woman got
pregnant and that explained why every Chinese age is added with one
more year above the date of birth)
With the help of my cousin, the hospital staff was cooperative
enough to let me discharged to seek consultation from a medium. By
appointment, we went to Dua Ya Tua with my mother. Dua ya was
firmed tat the child spirit i saw and talked to was a result of
black magic. The child spirit is harmless but i need to do 3 years
of ritual for him so that he can be directed back to where he came
from and also a chance for reincarnation. For now, Dua Ya Pek has
since broke the spell and instructed the child spirit to stay
outside the temple and he will bring him back with him after the
session. My mother was beside me.
She asked " i saw black image in our home too, was that the
child?"
Dua ya says " what is your date of birth, let me check for
you".
She replied "cannot, my religion dont believe this".
Dua ya than answered "then why you asked???"
She stucked! 
When i stepped out of the temple, i saw the child standing at a
corner mean for the wandering soul beside the temple. I took a
glance for the last time. I had not only removed his foetus in me,
i had also removed his chance of reincarnation mecilessly. What i
cant removed from him is his sadness. I wanted to say sorry to him
but i dare not to. I know it would not help ease his pain. I will
repay by performing 3 years of ritual for him. I know that is not
enough but that is what i can do for him for now. I sincerely hope
all the young people out there don't do what i have done so as not
to be lived with only regretful.
the end...
