My experience as a young person growing up in the Church several
years ago was far more positive than negative. To set the context,
I am a member of a medium sized Church that, while relatively
"rich", cannot be considered a "mega Church".
There is clearly a fundamental disconnect between the parent who
presumably is non-Christian, and the young person who is. My view
is that there is really very little that one can do to truely
reconcile the two without the young person compromising on his/her
Faith. This is probably something that a non-Christian will
struggle to comprehend, let alone accept.
You can talk about wanting to honour your parents, but to me (and I
am by no means a theologian) your primary parent is God. Your
Father in Heaven. The one thing that came to me when the discussion
moved on to this point of parents versus Faith (for want of a
better description) was the following passage from the Book of
Matthew:
The Cost of Following
Jesus
Matthew 8
18When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to
the other side of the lake.
19Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, "Teacher, I will
follow you wherever you go."
20Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests,
but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."
21Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my
father."
22But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own
dead."
I must stress that I am not a theologian so my interpretation of
this is base at best, but to me, that is the very essence of Faith.
That you would be willing to turn your back on the things of the
world to follow the Kingdom of God. But I would encourage you to
read the full scripture to take the meaning in its total context
(quite easy to google it, but make sure it's a reputable
site!).
I had many friends at Church (when we were younger) who had major
difficulties with their families over their decision to become
Christians. Some had their relationships with their parents break
down to the point of getting thrown out of the house. But very
often, what I noticed was that they had issues with their families
even before becoming a Christian. I speak generally of course as
there were always exceptions. But this is my anecdotal experience.
Coming to Church was perhaps the trigger point. In Church, one
would learn about the trials and tribulations of Job, and about how
the enemy would try to put obstacles in your path when you choose
to follow Jesus. Which is perhaps why, to many young minds, the
objections of a parent could be seen as a trial of one's (perhaps
new found) Faith.
I try not to judge but it's easy to see where both sides are coming
from.
While my extended family is by and large from a staunchly Christian
tradition, my mother was not. In fact, she was dead set against it,
and was perhaps especially angry when my grandfather (her dad)
converted on his deathbed. This is perhaps not an unusual
experience here in Singapore and if one was objective, I could see
the reasons for her anger. What came next was that me, her only
child, went to Church and became a Christian. This was something
that I had wanted to do for a long time, but did not do till I was
17 because I knew how she would feel. Was she upset? That goes
without saying. But I am fortunate in having a supportive family.
Sadly perhaps, there is no real happy ending. My mother later
passed away and to this day, I remain unsure where her convictions
laid even though she came to accept the path I had chosen.
I am now a parent myself to two young children. I will try to bring
them up the best way I know how. I know that in time, they will
make their own decisions that may not dovetail with my hopes and
expectations for them. This would of course include matters of
Faith. The only thing I can hope and pray for, is that the path
they choose is the one that God has planned for them.
I am by no means a good Christian and I have as many flaws as the
next person, probably more. But in my heart of hearts, I know to
whom I belong. I know what my Faith tells me, and I know how this
journey will end.
