don't worry, you not so high level yet, at least even Satan have
not reach this level yet... 
ok, serious, it all boils down to you making the decision, maybe
today, maybe another day, when you decide to turn back, you will
find God waiting for you patiently....
I have been to the level of curse God, well not die yet, almost,
when I lost everything I hold dear. when I turned around, I find
Him still there patiently waiting for me. This my friend, is the
love of the Father's heart.
cheers... 
