Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage
by Scott Diffenderfer
Over the last several months we have been approached concerning our
"position" on the subject of divorce and remarriage. The following
is the result of much study, prayer, counsel, and discussion. Some
have told me not to attempt to deal with this issue, as it is too
personal, yet we at Messianic Home have never been concerned with
building subscription numbers but rather have attempted to offer up
solid Biblical positions on "home" related topics. With that in
mind we simply cannot back off this potentially divisive
topic.
As a point of reference for the reader, I have been married to the
same woman for almost 19 years. I, unfortunately was not a pure
bridegroom. I have no ax to grind on this issue and only seek the
truth. I have heard or read most of the arguments on all sides of
this issue attempting to understand the position of each one. In
the end the only opinion that counts is the one of YHVH. I humbly
submit to you the best presentation on this topic that I can put
forth at this point in my journey with Messiah.
When we study any topic in Scripture we need to consider a few
concepts very carefully. First of all, we must use the whole
counsel of the Word from Genesis through Revelation. Secondly, we
must consider the audience of the writer and/or speaker. Third,
please realize that the Son cannot contradict the Father. Last but
not least, we need to acknowledge that there are some points in
Scripture that are a mystery and we are to be faithful to study
thereby unlocking the mystery as we grow into the image of
Messiah.
We see the first marriage in Scripture early on as YHVH realized
that Adam needed a helpmeet. At this time, obviously the newly
created world was in the perfection state. The fruit was still on
the tree. This is a very important distinction to make when looking
at the first union of a man and a woman. In YHVH's perfect order,
the union of a man and woman is one of becoming "one flesh".
Through the physical act of becoming "one flesh" YHVH has given us
a beautiful picture of His design for our union with our heavenly
bridegroom.
There are some clear distinctions between this garden union and our
worldly unions of today. Besides the perfection of the garden, we
see that Eve was created from the very rib of her husband. While at
this point in my marriage I consider my wife to be part of my own
flesh, I have had to grow into this belief. Adam did not even ask
for this helpmeet - YHVH saw that he needed help and companionship.
Most men today search and search for the perfect bride. Despite our
failings some of us even are fortunate enough to find her. Adam
just had to take a little nap. In the perfect garden setting things
were a little different than they are today. Until Messiah returns
to clean up this mess in which we live we will continue to stumble
our way towards His perfect will.
Moving forward in Torah, we see many marriages, some good and
others with problems. The wisdom of the patriarchs was not always
perfect concerning their personal lives. In Deuteronomy 24:1-4 we
encounter the topic of divorcement. This is the only time that
divorce is mentioned in Torah. When a man hath taken a wife, and
married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his
eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him
write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send
her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house,
she may go and be another man's wife. And if the latter husband
hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her
hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband
die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband, which sent
her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is
defiled; for that is abomination before YHVH: and thou shalt not
cause the land to sin, which the YHVH thy Elohim giveth thee for an
inheritance. Moshe in this section of Torah is laying out the
various decrees of the Father to Israel. Considering the context
again we see that Moshe is talking to a separated people who are
about to enter into a special piece of geography which we today
call Israel. In verse 4 we see how YHVH feels about the return of a
wife to her former husband. Again, we must realize that the Son did
not contradict His Father. Messiah explains to us in Matthew 19:8
why divorce was permitted, because of the hardness of your hearts.
The rebellious Israelites demonstrated their hardness of heart many
times throughout their wanderings in the wilderness. Some would say
that the Israelites of today are still wandering in the wilderness
and still possess a hardness of heart. Only through the redemptive
work of Messiah dwelling within us is our heart softened.
This hard heart syndrome which leads to rebellion was prevalent
throughout the wilderness wanderings. Ultimately, it led to YHVH
using a bill of divorcement on His chosen people. And I saw, when
for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I
had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her
treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot
also (Jer. 3:
. The Father establishes His ways for
specific purposes. In the case of divorce, it seems that YHVH has
it in place to deal with the issue of hard heartedness. However, in
Jeremiah 3 we see a possible argument for a wife's return to her
husband after divorce. This is just not so! Notice that the wife,
hast played the harlot, (Jer. 3:1) not entered onto a marriage
covenant with another. Furthermore, YHVH has never married another
- Israel (native born and sojourners) is and always will be the
only people who have a covenantal relationship with YHVH. Is it His
perfect will for couples to be divorced? Is it His will for His
people to have hard hearts? Absolutely not! There are different
eras throughout Scripture and YHVH establishes specific instruction
for specific eras. For instance, today we cannot keep the
sacrificial instructions because the Temple is not yet
reestablished. That however does not nullify the sacrificial system
but only suspends it until YHVH causes His house on earth to be
rebuilt (Ezekiel 42). In the Adamic era we had perfection on earth
and during the Messianic era we will once again. So, what do we do
in the meantime? Is divorce one of those instructions that is for a
specific era? Again, let us consider the work of Messiah in our
lives.
We know that if Messiah truly dwells within us then He causes our
heart to be renewed. Through His sacrifice we are redeemed. The
curse of Adam's disobedience is cleansed from us and we can enter
into a personal relationship with YHVH through our faith in Messiah
Yeshua. For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so
by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous (Romans 5:19).
While the world around us still operates under the hard heart
syndrome, we have been given soft hearts that are willing to obey
and find joy in following His commands. So when our hard heart is
removed so is our need for divorce. We learn how to love our spouse
through His instruction as we grow in the knowledge of His ways. As
we are transformed into the image of Messiah we learn how to
sacrifice our personal desires for the desires of our mate and
family. Our selfish, lustful flesh is no longer our driving force
as our desire to serve is increased. Of course we are still, "works
in process," but we are being transformed into a beautiful form. No
longer bound by our sinful desires, we are free to follow His
commandments and experience the blessings therein. Behold, I set
before you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing, if ye obey
the commandments of YHVH your Elohim, which I command you this
day... (Dt.11:26 & 27). The need for divorce is nullified
because we have been redeemed and are to be separate and peculiar
people from the world. Our lives are to cause the world to be
jealous as they witness the difference in our actions and responses
to the actions of those around us. Once redeemed, divorce is no
longer an option. Divorce is not applicable to redeemed Israelites.
The very cause of adultery (a hard heart) has been eliminated.
HalleluYAH!
But as we look around us we find "Believers" getting divorced. We
see pastors, teachers, and elders getting divorced or turning their
head to those who are. The world's imperfections have seeped into
the body of Believers. As our leaders have turned a hard heart to
Torah, they have turned away from accountability and
responsibility. Marriage is looked upon as a contract rather than a
covenant. Faithfulness is replaced by feelings, commitment is
overshadowed by our perverted concept of "love". How are we to
respond? What should our stance be when dealing with those who have
been divorced? Real life issues need real life solutions.
Fortunately, we have the example and teachings of Messiah to follow
when dealing with these issues.
In the gospels we have several instances of Messiah dealing with
"sinners". If we define sin as anything that YHVH hates then
divorce certainly falls into that category. Divorce is the result
of sin. Some would teach that those who are remarried are in a
constant state of adultery due to Messiah's teaching in Matthew
5:32. Adultery is sin. But, if we are going to use Yeshua's
teaching we have to use His definition, ...whosoever looketh on a
woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in
his heart (Mt. 5:2
. More importantly, we must attempt to deal with these
issues as Yeshua would have. Some treat divorced and remarried
people as lepers, especially if the action took place after they
were "saved". Which sin is too big for Messiah's bloodshed to
cover? Are there any sins that are unforgiven if one truly repents?
Do we not nullify the very essence of Messiah if we choose to have
a hard heart toward repentant sinners? While the Israelites were
given the ability to divorce due to their hard hearts, we see today
similar hard hearts taking harsh stances on this issue. Many are
throwing "spiritual stones" at those who have erred concerning the
past choices they made for partners. Messiah came to teach His lost
sheep a better way of life. A life of forgiveness, redemption from
our mistakes, and access to the Holy of Holies through His blood.
When looking at this topic we cannot forget this important
tenant.
Some congregations will not allow divorced and remarried couples to
join their assembly. If we choose to hold fast to one commandment
and hold people accountable to lifestyle choices then we should be
willing to hold equally fast to all the commandments. What about
those who continually break the 1st commandment through violating
or being ignorant of Torah? Many "Believers" still celebrate the
pagan holidays of christmas, halloween, and easter thereby
violating the second commandment. Often, we consider those who
curse the Father's name as breaking the third commandment, but what
about those who do not even use the name of YHVH or Yeshua? What
about all of the sabbath breakers; are they doomed...? The list
goes on and on as we consider our shortcomings in light of His
instructions (Torah). We simply cannot treat the Scriptures as a
buffet, taking what tastes good and leaving the rest. This is not
an excuse to throw the whole thing out and run rampant in sin.
Rather, it is a warning to those who would hold to one command more
strictly than the others.
Let us take a closer look at the concept of adultery through the
light of the whole counsel of His Word. Messiah Yeshua gave an
expanded definition of adultery when asked in Matthew 5:28. It is
important to note here that He was using a specific teaching
method, using hyperbole to drive home the point that divorce is
wrong. Messiah used this type of teaching many times, especially
when attempting to define the difference between the two major
schools of rabbinic teaching at the time (Hillel and Shammai). We
must consider the context and audience when looking at Messiah's
words or we will misinterpret the intended message. There are many
examples of adultery throughout Scripture. One could argue that
anyone who strays from the pure Truth of YHVH's Word commits
adultery against the Father. Then, of course, we have Yeshua's
expanded definition of which most "Believers" would be guilty of at
some point. Fortunately, in both these cases we can repent and
return to a right relationship with YHVH. We have an example of His
forgiveness in King David. Here is a man who had many wives yet
will still be prince of Jerusalem under Messiah's reign. Here was,
"a man after YHVH's own heart", yet he obviously violated the
concept of "one flesh" continually.
Let us take an abbreviated look at some of the teachings on this
divorce/remarriage issue that are floating around today. First
there seems to be a belief that divorce is a necessary tool in
today's adulterous world. It goes that it is impractical to expect
couples to actually stay together. As long as you attempt to seek
"religious" counsel and then things do not work out, at least you
have tried. Of course when many pastors, elders, and other leaders
have been divorced, it is hard for them to take too hard a stance
against divorce and remarriage. Or when many in their congregation
are divorced it creates a financial burden if they take too hard a
stance on this issue. They tend to treat divorce as if someone just
broke a contract. Contracts themselves are established in the
belief that one of the parties will eventually break the agreement.
They are there to protect the one who upholds the agreement through
outlining certain punitive damages for those who break the deal.
However, we know that marriage is not a contract but rather a blood
covenant.
Which brings us to another teaching. This teaching hinges on the
concept that it is not the state who has the authority to unite a
couple. Only YHVH has that ability. According to this teaching a
person is "married" to whomever they first were intimate with. In
Bible times, when a marriage was consummated the bridegroom
presents the stained bed garment to witnesses indicating that his
bride was pure and that the couple was united as "one flesh". This
blood covenant is unbreakable as long as both parties are alive. If
this is a correct interpretation of YHVH's will for a marriage then
many reading this article are married to the wrong person. Very few
of us today have married our first bed chamber partner. In the
perfect world, this teaching would be applicable and certainly is a
goal towards which we should train our children. I was not trained
up this way, quite the contrary, I was encouraged to pursue young
women in a very unscriptural manner. We see here the attempt to
apply a "perfect world" teaching to an imperfect environment.
Then we have the teaching that espouses the belief that you are
married to the first person you married until one spouse dies.
Divorce is not allowed except for cases of fornication. If marital
unfaithfulness is found, you may separate but still you may not
re-marry until the other spouse dies. What about Ezra's instruction
to Israel, Now therefore let us make a covenant with our Elohim
[God] to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them,
according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at
the commandment of our Elohim [God]; and let it be done according
to the law (Ezra 10:3). There are times when it seems it is
Scripturally correct to divorce. Notice that this verse states that
it be done "according to the law (Torah)". Let us train up our
children not to be lured by "foreign wives" but rather to remain
faithful to those their parents choose for them to marry. Once
again, this would not be applicable if we lived in "the garden".
This teaching could certainly lead someone to wish for the death of
their former spouse thereby committing "murder of the heart". Were
the Israelites of Ezra's time still married to their former wives?
Or were there marriages nullified in the eyes of YHVH due to the
mistakes of their training? Were they held guiltless due to being
led astray by their parents?
Some would take the above teaching a step farther and promote the
concept that if you are divorced and remarried, you should divorce
your current spouse and return to the first. Again, we see that
this is a violation of Torah. In Deuteronomy 24:4 YHVH calls such
an act an "abomination". If YHVH truly hates divorce, how can one
wrong make right another wrong? Remarriage to a former spouse,
after marrying another, is obviously not approved of by YHVH.
To truly understand this subject we must consider what is a
Biblical marriage. If we only deal with the divorce issue, then we
are picking out one point in a continuum in the marriage issue.
YHVH likes marriage. While some are to remain single, He gave us
the marriage covenant as a blessing through which we could
effectively serve Him. An effective marriage begins early in life
as children are trained up to be good husbands and wives. This
starts (hopefully) at a young age, as girls and boys are taught how
to fulfill their rightful roles by their parents. Concepts such as
discipline, faithfulness, stewardship, hard work, and patience
should be a part of every home training environment. Later in life
these well trained young men and women are betrothed to their
intended spouse. This betrothal period is a time of great
anticipation and preparation, usually lasting about one year. The
bridegroom is to prepare a place for his bride under the auspices
of his father. The marriage is then performed by the elders with
the consummation taking place thereafter. This is only the
beginning as now the real training begins. For the first few years
of marriage it is critical that the couple receive good counsel
from the elders and their parents concerning home based issues. As
the years progress and children are brought up in the home, the
couple will then enter into the fullness of the blessing of
marriage truly understanding what a Scriptural marriage is all
about.
We should not just focus on the issue of divorce without
considering the entire marriage continuum. When a marriage fails
there is typically a problem with the training of the individual
involved. A lack of patience or faithfulness are common causes of
divorce. Let us deal correctly with those involved in the training,
counseling and teaching of the divorced couple as well. To do less
would allow the errors to multiply into the future.
Most of the confusion concerning this issue comes from those who
just look at the New Testament's teachings on this subject. Let us
look at a few verses remembering that the renewed testament does
not contradict the first (Old) Testament. In Matthew 5:31-32 (KJV)
we read: It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife,
saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit
adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth
adultery. Now this obviously makes things pretty clear; until we
remember that scripture cannot violate scripture. If Moshe allowed
for divorce then we must be missing a piece of the puzzle here.
Just perhaps, it is due to the translation. We see this in many
instances throughout Scripture, where one or two verses seemingly
contradict the rest on a particular topic (look at the dietary laws
for instance). Using George M. Lamsa's translation of the Aramaic
Peshita (an ancient eastern text) this passage reads like this: It
has been said that whoever divorces his wife, must give her the
divorce papers. But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife,
except for fornication, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever
marries a woman who is separated but not divorced, commits
adultery. We see here the distinction between being separated but
not divorced. In Biblical times (and in some congregations today)
the elders would meet to consider the grounds for divorcement. If
they felt that there were Scriptural grounds (i.e. fornication,
adultery, or abandonment) then a "get" (bill of divorcement) would
be written. This paper would state the findings of the Elders and
would serve as legal paper for the act of divorce. Obviously, in
the Peshita, we see the distinction between a separation and a
legal divorce. Could Yeshua be stating that a man who marries a
woman without the bill of divorcement causes her to commit
adultery?
Furthermore, according to George Howard's study in The Hebrew
Gospel of Matthew, the translation of Matthew 5:31 from the
original Hebrew would read, ...And I say to you that everyone who
leaves his wife is to give her a bill of divorce. But concerning
adultery, he is the one who commits adultery and he who takes her
commits adultery. Again, we see that the issue here is the act of
legally divorcing rather than just "putting out" a wife. Howard
writes, "Here Y'shua supports the requirement that a man must give
his wife a divorce certificate (sefer keritut or get), otherwise if
he sends her out still legally married, then he makes both her and
her new husband commit adultery. Therefore, if the man truly wants
a divorce he must pay the ketubah settlement (a kind of lump sum
maintenance) and do a proper separation."
Later in Matthew 19:3-9 we see Yeshua addressing this topic again.
Notice the audiences, first we have His response to a cunning group
of Pharisees and later to His disciples. These Pharisees were
obviously attempting to trip up our Messiah through asking Him, "Is
it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?" Again,
we must be careful to consider the whole Scripture for in his
passage we see Messiah delineating between the school of Hillel and
Shammai concerning the meaning of the Torah phrase of Dt. 24:1,
"indecency of thing" (i.e. uncleanness). Yeshua here sided with the
stricter Shammai stating that divorce could not be for any "thing"
but only for the "thing" of immorality.
Messiah further blasted back at the Pharisees saying it was due to
their hardness of hearts that Moshe gave the bill of divorcement.
Compare this last passage with Mark 10:2-12. We can see a big
difference in Mark 10:10-11 vs. Matthew 19:9. Notice who He is
addressing in Mark - His disciples. Could it be that again our
interpretation is a bit off? Let us consider that Messiah was
taking a hard stance against divorce for His disciples. This would
be appropriate in light of the Scriptural qualifications for
eldership. Obviously these men were to be held to a higher standing
for their personal conduct. Messiah was making it clear to that
specific audience (as Torah does for the Levites) that divorce and
remarriage would be a grievous error.
But what about Romans 7:1-3? Once again we need to consider the
context and read carefully. First of all the topic here that Paul
is addressing is not divorce, but rather obedience to Torah.
Furthermore, we see in verse 2 that the woman is bound by the law
to her husband so long as he liveth. But if a legal "get" was given
the man in question would no longer be her husband! Obviously the
husband's death would end the marriage as we see in the next verse
upon which she is free to remarry. In any case, the context in this
passage is one of Torah obedience not divorce and remarriage.
In 1 Corinthians 7, we see this subject being addressed by Paul
(Shaul). We again must consider the context. Paul here is, of
course, lining up his words with YHVH's Torah and Yeshua's
explanation thereof in the Gospels. The major issue he is
addressing is the forgiveness of your spouse. In, Messiah -
Understanding His Life and Teachings in Hebraic Context (Vol. 1),
Avi Ben Mordechai writes, "To say, 'God has called us to peace'
means God has called us to repair broken relationships, a concept
that comes from the word shalom, whose Hebrew root is shalem
meaning to make payment in full; to fully reconcile an account.
...If the marriage is irreconcilable due to marital infidelity, and
the unfaithful spouse wants to leave, you must let him or her leave
and you will incur no guilt, as long as you were willing to
forgive."
So where does this leave us? How do we reconcile the issue of
divorce and remarriage in today's society? We can see that through
the counsel of the whole Word we may have a different conclusion
than if we just consider the Tanakh (O.T.) or the Brit Hadasha
(N.T.). Obviously, we also must be careful to consider the context,
translation, and audience when interpreting Scripture. After all
these considerations, we can form a more accurate conclusion on any
Scriptural matter. Let me be crystal clear in stating that YHVH
hates divorce. He no doubt hates it for several reasons perhaps
paramount of which is the fact that He desires His people to be
blessed. Divorce carries curses along with it, especially if
children are involved. There are always questions to be answered,
faithfulness to be questioned, and a stigma attached that just will
not go away. YHVH seeks the best for His people and divorce hinders
His will. We must train up our children properly thereby causing
them to have the heart of YHVH and hate divorce also. Furthermore,
we must offer wise counsel to marriages that are in trouble,
divorce is simply not the will of the Father for any marriage.
However, there are specific acceptable reasons for divorce. This is
not a long list! Let me be specific in stating that they are
dealing with the immorality within the marriage that Yeshua spoke
of, fornication, adultery, and (in the case of the unbeliever)
abandonment. In no way do I offer up these reasons as an "out" for
anyone who is married. Please remember that YHVH HATES divorce!
Anyone who takes part in any act that YHVH hates will have to
answer to the Almighty one day. Let us not forsake the eternal
reward due to some temporal difficulties. Just because the Father
gives us reasons for divorce does not mean that we should get
divorced. Remember, you will have to answer for your actions. YHVH
is still in the miracle business. So, if you are in one of these
situations keep praying, not looking for the easy way out, but
rather praying for YHVH's miracle that may be closer than you
think. Different congregations may define these reasons for divorce
differently but I will stick my neck out and offer up a suggested
definition of each considering their original definition in the
Greek and Hebrew language and Yeshua's words. I will also put these
definitions in light of the imperfect world we live in today:
Fornication - adultery and any act of a sexual nature that is
committed out of the marriage relationship, homosexuality and the
use of pornography.
Adultery - the physical or mental act of physical intimacy with
anyone other than one's spouse.
Abandonment - the act of leaving, not providing for, or physically
abusing one's spouse.
If one is in such a state there are specific steps they should
take. First of all pray; because YHVH is indeed capable of working
miracles. Secondly, look at your action (or lack of action) that
could have caused this situation to occur, repent, and fix it.
Third, seek counsel from the wise. Fourth, if all else fails and
you must go through with a divorce, bring the request in front of a
group of true Elders and submit to their authority. Request that
they hear your plea and grant you a written get with the Scriptural
cause of divorce clearly stated. If that is accomplished then today
you must receive a bill of divorce from the state as well. Finally
you must repent. Repent! True repentance will bring about a change,
a new heart, and put you back under the covering of YHVH.
It is interesting to note that Scripture only gives the ability to
obtain a get to the husband. This is perhaps due to the patriarchal
society of the time. Women were dependent on their husband for
provision and protection. This, in part, is the reason that women
did not abandon their husbands. Therefore, if a man divorced his
wife it would be speculated that she had played the harlot. What a
disgrace that would be. However, Jewish law gave the wife the
ability to approach the elders of the synagogue in an attempt to
force the husband to divorce her for specific causes such as her
husband having leprosy, he was engaged in a dirty trade, physical
abuse, or his becoming a heretic.
Let us also remember that the punishment for adultery in Torah was
stoning. Of course this seems barbaric to most today, however, if
all proven adulterers were stoned to death things would be much
neater. The issue of remarriage of the adulterer would be
eliminated and most would think twice before committing such a
violation. With each stone, the guilty party would have the
opportunity to repent and thereby enter the Kingdom of YHVH. But
who would cast the first stone? Spiritual "stones" are being cast
today by many who do not understand the whole counsel of YHVH's
Word and by others who are filled with pride and
unforgiveness.
Remarriage may indeed take place if a Scripturally legal divorce
has been accomplished. This is Scriptural, not the Father's best,
but allowable under the whole counsel of His Word. If you seek to
be divorced to pursue another pre-identified spouse then you
certainly have committed adultery under Yeshua's definition and
teachings. Therefore, any remarriage should not take place for a
number of years. Remember that the divorced individual has some
baggage that needs to be cleaned up before any remarriage should be
considered. Perhaps there is a problem with faithfulness,
obedience, patience, or other such issues. These must be cleaned up
if the next marriage is to be successful. Typically, these are not
quick fix areas of opportunity but rather life long issues. Give
them time to be eradicated through good counsel and prayer. During
this period the woman should be provided for by her father or the
congregation. Let us not forsake our responsibility to those in
need. Waiting on YHVH before rushing into a remarriage leaves room
for repentance on the part of the adulterous spouse. YHVH divorced
Israel and sent her away but still awaits for her repentant return
to His covenant. We too should be careful not to close the door too
soon. Some individuals are better off to remain single, For there
are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and
there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there
be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of
heaven's sake (Mt. 19:12). We should not force the issue, but truly
be led by the Ruach HaKodesh which will never violate Scripture.
Those who do choose to remarry need to do so with the utmost
caution. The multiple divorce rates are enormous and YHVH hates
divorce! Be careful not to repeat the mistakes of the past.
In closing, let me note that none of us can undo the mistakes of
the past. We have all fallen short of His mark. We all are in need
of His abundant mercy. For those of you who have been divorced in
the past please realize that we cannot unscramble eggs but we can
make a beautiful soufflé out of them! True repentance for our
grievous ways will bring about a change in the Believer. We should
be able to physically recognize a repentant individual. There
should be a change of attitude that will improve their countenance
as well as change their deeds.
In addressing this topic we need to realize that there are many
factors involved in any unsuccessful marriage. Therefore, it is
impossible to make a blanket proclamation on specific marriages
without taking into account the different aspects of each. That is
why it is so important to receive Scriptural counsel if you are in
a troubled marriage. This counsel must be of YHVH and therefore
cannot be void of Torah. The counselors must consider the entire
Scripture in it's original language, and not just a few
passages.
Unfortunately, there are some Believers who judge others who have
been divorced and remarried and refuse to fellowship with those who
they feel are in a continual state of adultery. This teaching is
based on an incomplete interpretation of the New Testament alone
and ignores the instructions of Moshe because the teachers of this
concept believe the Law of YHVH is done away with. When we point
the finger at someone else there are three others pointing back at
us. Let YHVH be the judge and jury. While we certainly should be
careful with who we choose to fellowship, let us not be so
unforgiving that we would have the "hard heart" of the Pharisees.
If we choose to draw a hard line on this issue, we must draw an
equally hard line on all sin or else we are hypocrites. This does
not in any way make allowances for divorce and remarriage. It is
not YHVH's will and certainly not His best. However, we too must
realize that we live in an imperfect world. Holding our brothers
and sisters up to a standard of perfection will heap coals upon our
heads. Instead, let us cling to the hope that Messiah is still
completing the work He began within us. We are being transformed
into His very image. It is an image of obedience, faithfulness,
love, service, and humility...let it be so. Shalom.