1. There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking
in its parking lots, so they put up a sign:
CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY Trespassers will be
baptized!
2. "No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace."
3. "Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!"
4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins."
5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone
tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline
that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
7. When the restaurant next to a Church put out a big sign with
red
letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its
own message: We are open on Sundays, too."
8. "Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily."
9 "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"
10. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long
and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this
world."
11. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."
12. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows
U-turns."
13. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born
again."
14. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain
eternal fire insurance soon."
15. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" (U R)
16. "In the dark? Follow the Son."
17. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."
18. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the
Shepherd."
