now i know that i posted a while back, saying join band lah,
join mdc lah.
Well now i've been posted to one of the SIR contingents as a
rifleman, and almost my entire company has gone to sispec or
ocs.
the reason for this is i ticked no to command school - so you
can feel free to criticise me for this, saying 'live with your
choice lah'. fine. feel free to do so.
now that ive been posted to rifleman (which i have done my
research on) seeing all my friends (yes all) go scs as INF LDR is
making me very very depressed.
i feel that i have let my parents down, i feel that i have let
my friends down by not being able to live up to either of their
expectations.
is there any way in hell to revocate to sispec? i feel if not i
may have to see a psychiatrist. my heart is beating like crazy and
i am feeling very anxious and nervous, and i feel very depressed
and starting to hear voices like 'why did you tick no' and 'you let
your parents down'. my father was an officer and now i cant face
him and tell him that i didnt manage to go to command school.
my medic friend tells me he sees a lot of people who try to down
pes or chao keng once they get into their unit - and here i am
faced with the same situation.
please help.. what are my options?