The Electric New Paper :
Just like the 'real' thing
MOST of us know that the professional wrestling that you see on
television isn't real.
By Ian Tan
08 December 2006
MOST of us know that the professional wrestling that you see on
television isn't real.
From the cheesy drama to the outrageous acrobatic stunts, these
matches are usually carefully scripted and choreographed to look as
authentic as possible.
Now, a videogame based on World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE)
matches takes the fakery a little further.
Think about it - the Xbox 360 game known as Smackdown Vs Raw 2007
is actually a simulation of a simulated reality.
Who cares, you say, as long as it feels and plays like the real
thing?
But what makes a real wrestling match? When was the last time you
watched one?
The game is undoubtedly fun, but it made me ask myself the
following questions incessantly.
1. Are the punches real?
Oddly enough, the showy lightning-fast punches to the face and
knocks against the metal stairs are replicated in full in the
game.
The same goes for those flying tackles, leg locks and sudden neck
twists.
But is your virtual opponent feeling the pain? Or is it ultimately
just for show?
What will really hurt is the maddening number of loading screens.
Imagine having to wait two or three minutes just to start a
match!
2. When is the next plot twist coming?
Roughly every two weeks in your season, the scriptwriters will
introduce a plot twist that brings in new enemies (think ugly faces
like Boogeyman, Ric Flair and The Undertaker), or make sudden
allies out of your existing opponents.
Expect to be betrayed and slammed with a metal chair across your
back by your best friend.
3. Do I actually have control over who wins the match?
Often, you will be set up for a handicapped match and have to watch
helplessly as your WWE wrestler is brutally pummeled by two
opponents.
A cut-scene at the end of the match gloats over your failure and
conveniently moves the story forward.
So it's not about how fast you can twist those gamepad thumbsticks,
dear.
4. Who are these weird wrestlers anyway?
Does it matter what their real names are?
With high-quality 3D reproductions of your favourite wrestlers,
these beefcakes (and hot babes) look and strut creepily like the
real thing.
Unlock loads of famous names from Hulk Hogan to The Rock, then
enter every pay-per-view event like Wrestlemania to prove your
worth.
It really feels like the televised matches, except you are in
absolute control.
Or are you?
Rating: *** 1/2 