Ghostbuster Training Manual
© 1984 Columbia Pictures Industried, Inc. Written by Christopher
Brown
Last Updated: July 21, 1997
A Guide To Catching Ghosts
Are you bored with your life? Are you tired of the same old
routine? Then consider this: You too can have an exciting career as
a GHOSTBUSTER! This manual is designed to start you on your way.
Everything you need to know about the science of Ghostbusting is
right here on the net!
To earn your Ghostbusting degree, (coming soon) study each lesson
carefully, print out the certificate. Sign your name on the
Official Certificate of Achievement, and ...you're a Ghostbuster!
Now, lets get started!
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Lesson 1: Ghostbuster
Headquarters
Of course, every beginning Ghostbuster needs a headquarters.
Preferably it should be a run-down fire station, but some other
building such as an abandoned railroad depot, an old army barracks,
or a bankrupt chicken ranch, can be substituted. The important
lesson to be learned is that the professional Ghostbuster
headquarters must have a certain laid-back atmosphere in order to
reassure clients frightened out of their wits. Also, and most
importantly, these dumps are cheap to buy!
Lesson 2: Ghostbuster
Transportation
Fast, dependable transportation is important to a Ghostbuster. A
converted hearse is, of course, the best - note photo of
Ectomobile. Not only is a hearse roomy enough to carry all your
scientific Ghostbusting equipment, but it is also weird and
attracts attention. In other words, it's good business. If you are
unable to locate a suitable hearse, consider an old garbage truck
or even a war surplus armored personnel carrier. Remember, however,
that at first business will be slow - so get something cheap!
Lesson 3: Proton Pack
The most important piece of Ghostbusting equipment is, of course,
the proton pack. This device consists of a nuclear accelerator and
a particle thrower. The ion stream produced by the proton pack is
extremely destructive, but it is also the only known method of
cornering a ghost. Acquiring a proton pack is not easy - nuclear
accelerators have to be liscensed. However, with a little inventive
genius, almost anyone can designe and build one. CAUTION! Never
point your particle thrower at anything but a ghost!
Lesson 4: Ghost Trap
The next most important piece of Ghostbuster gear is the ghost
trap. This is a complicated electronic device used for transporting
a captured ghost. It consists of a foot pedal and cord attached to
a long flat metal box approximately two feet long. Although
trapping a ghost is no easy task, it is a skill the beginning
Ghostbuster must master. Particularly difficult to trap is the
Class Five Full Roaming Vapor. Watch out or you will get
SLIMED!
Lesson 5: Ecto-Containment
Unit
Another essential piece of Ghostbusting gear is the
Ecto-Containment Unit. No Ghostbuster would be complete without
one. What's the point of catching a ghost if you don't have any
place to keep it, right? The storage facility is a concrete block
vault in the basement of Ghostbuster Headquarters. A powerful
electronic grid prevents evil spirits from escaping. But be
careful! Too much psychokinetic entergy (PKE to Ghostbusters) and
BANG! A ghost explosion like you wouldn't believe!
Lesson 6: Ghostbuster
Courage
A Ghostbuster must develop amazing courage in order to face up to
the job. Teeth chattering, knees knocking, and hands shaking, the
Ghostbuster is required to complete the assigned task no matter
what. Nothing can interfere with ridding the world of ghosts. A
Ghostbuster is always professional. Remember the Ghostbuster
motto:
Back Off Man! I'm a Scientist!
Lesson 7: Class Five Full Roaming
Vapors
As previously mentioned, this type of ghost is particulartly
difficult to trap. Horribly ugly, trailing smelly ectoplasmic goo,
roamers inhabit places where food is plentiful. They will eat
anything and everything, but are known to like leftover pizza
best.* People who encounter one are usually so offended that they
can't move. This allows time for the roamer to perform his favorite
trick - SLIMING! Once slimed, a Ghostbuster never forgets!
* especially if the anchovies are cold and smelly.
Lesson 8: Terror Dogs
Luckily these evil creatures are rare. They are demons which
occasionally occupy old fashioned buildings like post offices or
museums. During the daylight hours, they appear to be made of
stone. But every expirienced Ghostbuster knows better! These bests
are real dogs! Sometimes Terror Dogs are mistaken for bears or
cougars, but the red eyes are a dead give-away. Don't let them
corner you.
Lesson 9: Your Final Exam
What's that? Coming down the street! Oh no, it's the Stay-Puft
Marshmallow Man crushing everything in his path. The crowd screams
with terror and begs for help. Who ya gonna call? That's right,
Ghostbusters!
A full-fledged Ghostbuster must be prepared to deal with any
crisis, even the evil Destructor. Spooks, roamers, ancient demons -
nothing stands in a Ghostbuster's way. Remember the Ghostbuster
battle cry:
I Ain't 'Fraid O' No Ghosts!
Lesson 10: Graduation
Day
A Ghostbuster must be ready, day or night, to answer the call of
duty. "H-h-help! A Ghost!" If you crave excitement, adventure,
thrills, chills... if you've got what it takes...consider yourself
a Ghostbuster. From now on, when someone says, "Who ya gonna call?"
They are gonna call
YOU!
Upon completetion of the course, be sure to register with
Ghostbusters International and the GB PBEM RPG. 