Joke 1 :
Positive Thinking
Positive thinking is like this....
A little bird flies up in the sky;
you look up and it sh|ts in your eye...
But you don't mind and you don't cry...
But you thank God that cows don't fly.....
Joke 2 :
Government Job
A guy goes to interview for a Government job. The interviewer
asks
him, "Are you a veteran?"
The guy says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in
Vietnam."
"Good," says the interviewer, "That counts in your favor. Do you
have any service-related disabilities?" The guy says, "In fact I am
100% disabled.
During a battle, an explosion removed my private parts so
they
declared me disabled, it doesn't affect my ability to work,
though." "Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news
for you, I can hire you right now ! Our working hours are 8 to 4.
Come on in about 10, and we'll get you started."
The guy says, "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me
to come at 10?" " Well, here at the government, we don't do
anything but sit around and scratch our balls for the first two
hours. No point of your coming in for that !"
