Disclaimer,
I have nothing against foreign talents and I am never known to be
xenophobic among my peers. I have been known to tell off locals or
people who are against foreigners or other races. The reason why I
had specifically indicated the race here is due to my personal
experiences with them and it is more related to the love/
relationship rather than their work performances or contribution to
my country.
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First Encounter was in May 2012. I was buying coffee at
this underpass in Raffles Place (OUB Centre) and this Indian
approached and strike a chit chat. He was working at ING in
Republic Plaza and he wanted to be friend with him. He was from
Delhi (India) and he had been in Singapore for more than 4 years.
He stayed at Pasir Panjang. He walked me to my office and insisted
on me saving his number in my phone and give him a missed call so
that he could keep my number. I did not hear from him until a few
days later when he asked me out for dinner. Initially we went to
Subway at Golden Shoe Market but the selection he wanted was not
available so we went to VivoCity Subway. Be known that the
selection of food and venue were decided by him and he had never
even asked me what I wanted to eat. I told him we could eat
anything but he insisted on eating Subway and Vivocity is near
his house -.-". We ordered our food and chit chatted a while. He
told me about himself, saying he was single and we chatted about
his education and his travels and his working experiences in other
countries. It was indeed impressive and eye opening for me because
he was only 28 years then. Still, I found it uneasy in his presence
because he was constantly staring at me. We ended the night early
because I had a meeting the next day.
Subsequently
we chat now and then as both of us were busy with our work. In July
2012, I asked him if he wanted to drink as I was pretty stressed
out at work. He agreed and we met at the coffee shop in Clementi.
He ordered 3 bottles of beers, two for him and one for me. We
chatted about his family in India and how he would be going back to
India for Diwali. Truth be told, I have always been fascinated
about the culture of India. Hence our conversation ran through the
night. Then he brought up the topic, asking me if I was keen to get
hitched with a foreigner. I told him I had no intention to get
hitched. He brought up his proposal. He mentioned he had been in
Singapore for awhile and wanted to apply for Permanent
Resident (PR) and he wanted to increase his application to be
approved by marrying a local girl. I had told him that was too
unfair and preposterous. He had disagreed and said that it was a
win0 win situation as during the marriage, he would take care of
the girl for a year and the girl could enjoy his money as he earns
SGD$14000 per month. I was not impressed. I had told him that most
of the girls married because of love, not of money. In addition,
what would happen to the girl after a year? He answered with a
stoic face that they would divorce with the terms that the girl
could not get anything out of him. I was disgusted and told him to
change the topic. We chatted awhile, and he was back to his
staring at me and this time, his stare was on my hem line.
Eventually we went back to our respective homes. Over the next few
weeks, he had asked me out to Clark Quay which I had rejected him
as I was busy with stuff.
Then
in September 2012, we had decided to meet up for a late night drink
at Holland Village. It was packed everywhere. Hence we had decided
to bring the drinks to his house and we chatted at the balcony.
Throughout the chilling and chatting on the balcony, both of us
were at ease. I guess I had drunk a lot and we were intimate.
Subsequently, he had booked a cab and told me to leave the house. I
was shocked. I guess I was still in a daze over this non- chivalry
that I had tried to contact his two mobile numbers over the next
few days and he would not reply or answer my calls or messages.
Eventually after approximately 1 week later, he told me he was busy
with work. And by then, I did not want to have anything more to do
with him. I did not lose my heart to him but I was disappointed
over this display of realism from a foreigner who
obviously just want to get laid and decided to discard the
local girl after not being able to convince her to his grand
plan.
P/s:
The next time I happened to see him was in June 2013 at Clark Quay.
He saw me in the Pump Room with my friend and as usual when he
walked past, he stopped and stared at me.. He had kept walking and
then I had turned my head away. When I was on the dance floor a few
minutes later, I saw him walking to the dance floor and he was
staring at me at the edge of the dance floor. I gave him a glare
and he went away.
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Second encounter was in January 2013. I had known VV
through the social chatting application Skout. Initially I did not
pay much heed to him but he was indeed witty and cheesy at the same
time. Gradually I had chatted with him more often and on 22 March
2013, I had asked him out for supper.
Yes,
I am unable to let go of what we had, let go of the memories... I
am unable to forget him. The past 9 months were indeed wondrous. I
had felt his love for me consistently over this period. Over this
period, He had been telling me how his wife lied to him that she
was raped by the policemen in India and had to abort the baby and
made him guilty that he had to marry her at a young age at 24 and
only 4 years later he realized she had lied. Since then he had
focused his love of his son. He said he had been torn over his son
and me, and that there was no more love for his wife and it would
be easier for him to make the decision if it is just between me and
his wife. I understand his predicament. I really do. However my
love for him has grown to the extent it was unbearable for me to
see him going back to his wife every night. Because of his work in
an UK Investment Bank , he had many conference calls and meetings
and gradually our Meetups had reduced. It had become more
unbearable.
The
final call was when I realized he had lied to me and I had
called his wife on 20 December 2013. He had chosen to be with his
family. He told me he regretted me and he should not have cheated
on his wife. And frankly speaking, even if you guys said I am in
denial, how can you consistently show love and attention to a
person over 9 months and after sleeping with the person if just sex
is what you want? I don't think anyone will be that
consistent. I do believe he loves me. However the love is not
strong, as compared to his love for his son. And I do understand
why his wife put him under duress, corner him and he had
to swear that he will strike me off his life and focus on his
family. What I do not like is that she had pretended to be
understanding and said as a woman, she understood the pain I had
gone through and told me to be strong and move on yet the moment
she ended the call, she called Vineet that I was hassling her.
In addition, in the past I had tried to meet her by asking her to
give me yoga lesson. She told me she would prefer a group session
and in a condominium, not in HDB area. It is like she is so upscale
and yet she only lives in the HDB area.
VV
had always sang praises of Singapore and how he would like to have
his son grow up here and he had applied for Permanent Resident (PR)
- pending for approval, and buy private housings just as what his
friends did, enjoying the perks which Singapore is giving him. He
would at times tell me about the not-so-good stuff of India and
that he would prefer to stay in Singapore. Of course, he would also
add to that it is also because I am here. To tell the truth, there
are times which I would ask myself I should keep quiet and not call
his wife and just enjoy the process of loving him and him loving
me, that I had acted on impulse by calling his wife because I had
missed him a lot. Yet I feel that with the increasing love I have
for him, it is difficult to be just contented being the third
party. I want more. I had even told him before that I am willing to
take care of his son Suryansh. However his focus is on his son and
he had even said if his wife decided to go back to India, he will
follow suit just to have his son back. So what is the love of me,
what about us?
Ever
since he had made the oath, he did not answer to my emails,
messages or calls. He had told his friend about me and he had
pretended not to know me when I texted him. Both his friend and
wife had blocked me on whatsapp.
Are
local girls the passports to the foreigners getting their PRs? Why
are words given out so easily? Where are the sincerity and
truthfulness? As much I am intrigued by Indian Culture, I am amazed
by their 'roti- prata' of handling people and saying
things...