"In the car crash when your parents died," she had said. "And
don't ask questions."
Don't ask questions -- that was the first rule for a quiet life
with the Dursleys.
Uncle Vernon entered the kitchen as Harry was turning over the
bacon.
"Comb your hair!" he barked, by way of a morning greeting.
About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his
newspaper and shouted that Harry needed a haircut. Harry must have
had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put
together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way
-- all over the place.
Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley arrived in the kitchen
with his mother. Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a
large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick
blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt Petunia
often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel -- Harry often said
that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.
Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was
difficult as there wasn't much room. Dudley, meanwhile, was
counting his presents. His face fell.
"Thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father. "That's
two less than last year."
"Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's
here under this big one from Mommy and Daddy."
"All right, thirty-seven then," said Dudley, going red in the
face.
Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing
down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table
over.
Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said
quickly, "And we'll buy you another two presents while we're out
today. How's that, popkin? Two more presents. Is that all
right''
Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work. Finally he
said slowly, "So I'll have thirty ... thirty..."
"Thirty-nine, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia.
"Oh." Dudley sat down heavily and grabbed the nearest parcel. "All
right then."
Uncle Vernon chuckled. "Little tyke wants his money's worth, just
like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!" He ruffled Dudley's
hair.
At that moment the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went to answer
it while Harry and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing
bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new
computer games, and a VCR. He was ripping the paper off a gold
wristwatch when Aunt Petunia came back from the telephone looking
both angry and worried.
"Bad news, Vernon," she said. "Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She
can't take him." She jerked her head in Harry's direction.
Dudley's mouth fell open in horror, but Harry's heart gave a leap.
Every year on Dudley's birthday, his parents took him and a friend
out for the day, to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the
movies. Every year, Harry was left behind with Mrs. Figg, a mad old
lady who lived two streets away. Harry hated it there. The whole
house smelled of cabbage and Mrs. Figg made him look at photographs
of all the cats she'd ever owned.