27 Facts About Men
1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3. Men who have tattoos think they have a piece of artwork on them.
Yeah, like a flaming skull is art?
4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that
when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he
concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble,
he
coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in
trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.
5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel
important.
6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning.
Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my
pillow, instead of a gun.
8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men
usually have jobs and bathe.
9. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship."
These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General
Schwartzkopf.
10 Men are sensitive in strange ways If a man has built a fire and
the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
11 Men have an easier time buying bathing suits, Women have two
types: depressing and more depressing Men have two types: nerdy and
not nerdy.
12 Men have higher body temperatures than women If your heating
goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are
like portable heaters that snore.
13 Women take clothing much more seriously than men I've never seen
a man walk into a party and say "Oh no, I'm so embarrassed; I've
got to get out of here. There's another man wearing a black
tuxedo."
14 Most men hate to shop That's why the men's department is usually
on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the
door.
15 If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or
more types of lettuce, he is serious.
16 If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr Right," if he
a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you
are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory
only
works on cocoons and butterflies.
17 No man is charming all of the time Even Cary Grant is on record
saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
18 When four or more men get together, they talk about
sports.
19 When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
20 Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the
movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
21 Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally
and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team
win? How's my car?"
22 If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't
forget.. he didn't lose your number.. he didn't die. He just didn't
want to call you.
23 Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis I asked him,
"Are we going to have fun again?" He said, "Maybe.. next
year."
24 Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a
problem "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound
like a challenge If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying,
"I love you.. I want to marry you.. I want to have your children."
Sometimes they leave skid marks.
25 Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with
super- heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up
identifying with Barbie.
26 Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause With
female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male
menopause - you get to flirt with young girls and drive
motorcycles.
27 Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men
need instant replays in sports They've already forgotten what
happened.
