Advise on handling man

divinewind88 SG

HELLO!

I am a NS boy in the police force and am currently holding the appointment of OC of some unit in some place.

I ran into a problem with this subordinate of mine a few days back when I want him to go for his IPPT.

Excerpts from our converstation over the phone:

*Ring**Ring*

Me: You are to go for your IPPT this Wed.

Him: Huh? Sir cannot lah. Not prepared lah.

Me: What not prepared? Not prepared also must go.

Him: Go ler also fail. No point. I go and talk to PNS side ask them reschedule me.

Me: Cannot. I want you to go this Wed.

Him: Don't worry sir. I will tell PNS side de.

Me: You don't everything also PNS side. I want you to go this Wed.

Him: But really not prepared mah!

Me: Not prepared!? If everyone tells me the same thing might as well you all all don't go for IPPT forever? I don't accept that as an excuse.

Him: But really go there ler is fail mah. Then waste time, then have to go again.

Me: You got something on is it? (Wed is his off day)

Him: .. actually yeah, I got something on.

Me: You do realised that NS should be your first priority?

Him: I know lah but this kind of thing really is go there waste time. Might as well reschedule me and then I go and train and then I pass.

Me: Fine. I can let you off but you must promise me that you can pass during your next rescheduled IPPT.

Him: Sir, Cannot lah! How to promise you. You go and ask others see who can promise lah.

Me: Then very simple. You just have to go this Wed.

Him: Sir, really cannot lah!

Me: You just want to go out to do your things right? IPPT only half day event you can go out after that.

Him: Sir, really I go talk to PNS side they will reschedule me wan.

Me: You think people reschedule you very easy is it. Don't keep giving people trouble and procrastinating can?

Him: ...

Me: Oi can hear me anot.

Him: ... can can

Me: Then I want you to go this Wed.

Him: ...

Me: Don't keep quiet. You understand me anot.

Him: But PNS side will reschedule for me de.

Me: I don't care what PNS side says and I will personally ask them not to entertain your requests. I want you to go this Wed. Its your responsibility.

Him: ...

Me: So go this Wed.

Him: ... Sir, cannot ah....

Me: What cannot! You want me to charge you for insubordination?

Him: ....

Me: OI !

Him: ... Ya la ya la

Me: Are you or are you not going?

Him: No.

Me: Fine. Have it your way.

*Hangs up*

*doo...dooo...dooo...*

OK. So basically, that is the gist of it. I did some reflections after that and realised I said some rather insensitive things. Especially the insubordination part. I din't really mean it. Just that it was in the middle of a conversation and I just said whatever comes to mind to pressure him to go for the IPPT. But, unfortunately, it backfired.

Anyway, this proves one thing. This guy is not afraid of me. Not say I want him to be fearful of me and like worship me or whatever. Just that there should still exist some respect since I am after all, his OC.

Anybody got any advise on how I can talk to this fellow, counsel him or whatever and win him over?

Actually, he is 23 his year and I am on 19. Then again, I have many others in my unit who are older than me.

Therefore, not only advise on handling this person, any veterans out there also has good advise on man management?

Thanks.

loonyloony SG

I guess its his mentality, previously how did he get through is IPPT than? somehow he will find someone to train with. Perhaps before his IPPT a month or so train with him or can ask him to bring his friends and like everyone train over the weekends?

I mean this will protray that you are a responsible and proactive OC and you will want him to pass it instead of dragging on. You can also tell him about the concequences of not keeping fit and it will lead to many health problems, etc.

No double working is something that everyone dreads, NS too. It will also be his initiative to keep fit.Why others can but him? No one wants to be slapped with rules but if you have to than i guess.

doghouse837 SG

Bro, one word or advice, u are on NS, soon u would ORD and met up with him outside. One more friend is always better that one more enemy. Talk nicely to him and find out more. Never Never use rank or post to press on ppl. No one like to be press. Slow talk would works.

divinewind88 SG

thanks for the advice. i talked to him nicely ler and he seems to understand.

HyuugaNeji SG

OC is Officer Commanding right? You just grad from Police inspector course (equivalent of OCS)?

raygel SG

In my opinion, I was once a commander in Army, you have to stand your ground. NS is not child's play, its about security of this country. I know IPPT is not really about security, however if 1 man can be insubordinate, the rest will follow (he might tell his fellow friend, "hey you just tell your OC PNS will reschedule can liao, he hum chee don't dare to touch you one, most talk talk to scare you only") and soon you would lose your respect. If he were to tell me "sir, go also fail one" I will ask "Then since if you know you will fail, did you train up for it?" if he say "No" then you could tell him "take this IPPT and treat it as a remedial training, I don't care you pass or fail, at least show me that you are willing to put in effort to attend the test." If he replies "yes, I did train up for it" then you can tell him "Its time to prove your effort worth, passing or failing is not important, all I want to see is the effort you put in to try". If he refuses, just charge him in minor offense and let him do extra duty. Being stern, not bias and reasonable is one way of earning respect from your men. A phase well liked by me in my Army days "Rank is what you wear, respect is what you earn." Earn your respect sir.