Dear Michelle,
There're some things I really want to say to you, to express to
you. Aside from simply coming up to you and saying them, there
really is no way to tell you how I feel. So I won't. My ideas, due
to the poor means of communication words provide, might be
misunderstood and cause our relationship to become uncomfortable.
So I've decided not to tell you. And I'll compose and publish my
letter here.
I love you. Not in a friendly way, although I think we're great
friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although
I'm sure that's what you'll call it. And it isn't because you're
unattainable. I love you, very simple, very truly. You've always
been such a wonderful, protective and supportive person to me,
you've been with me and been there for me ever since I met you, be
it through love, pain or confusion. For that, I'm eternally
grateful. I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing the
line's the furthest thing from an option you've ever considered.
But with you, I feel that there're emotional things that'll not
change, even if our two seperate lives do change on their own. I'm
feel a special comfort when I'm with you, I could curl up next to
you and fall asleep quite easily. Your faults and unattractive
behaviours, they're spicy and real and they make up part of who you
are. I love them.
I know if you see this, it will probably queer our friendship
but I can't take this anymore. I couldn't allow another day to go
by without getting it out there, because I've never felt this way
before, and I like who I'm because of it. If you ever ever see
this, and if bringing this to light means we can't hang out
anymore, then that hurts me. But I know, I know some part of you is
hesitating for a moment, and if there's this moment of hesitation,
that means you feel something too. And all I ask is that you not
dismiss that, at least not for ten seconds and try to dwell in
it.
Michelle, there're all kinds of love out there, but this is my
one and only life. You have no idea how much you've changed it
forever and moved me. Without you, I wouldn't even be a fraction of
the man I'm today. I would risk this friendship for the chance to
take it to the next plateau. Because it's there between you and me,
you can't deny that.
I want to tell you these things. Perhaps someday I'll tell you.
Perhaps someday you'll see this, and I'll never know. Regardless of
what happens, I want you to know that I love you and I'll be there
for you above any other person. I count myself among the luckiest
souls in the universe for meeting you.
Love,
Ian
