Here’s a list of people I hate, including a little some special
for you, if you’re that person.
1. People who spend more than 3 minutes at the fucking
ATM machine.
It’s not a fucking TI-83. You are not plotting functions. Get your
money or get the fuck out of line.
2. Guys who wear hats with stickers still on them.
Fuck the Yankees and fuck you too.
3. Uber-Christian girls.
If we’re ALL sinners, then why the fuck are
you giving me shit about my drinking habits? You take it in the
ass. I don’t care if he’s your husband. It’s still sodomy. You’re
still “sinning.” So, I’ll see you in hell. And guess what? It’ll be
awesome.
4. People who cheat at Monopoly.
I know why you like to be the banker, asshole.
5. Dudes who get excited when you hit on their girlfriend.
Don’t come up and try to hit me because I flirted with your bitch.
Hit your bitch because she was responding to my flirting.
6. Young petrol station attendants.
GET A FUCKING JOB.
7. Steven Lim.
GET A FUCKING JOB.
8. People who argue about which beer tastes better.
Everybody has their own fucking tastes. If dude likes Tiger; dude
likes Tiger
9. Anybody who has ever said rap is the best genre of
music.
Consider this: mayonnaise has a higher IQ than you do.
10. Faggots who wear turtlenecks, square-framed glasses and
bring their Apple Laptops to Starbucks so that they can appear
intelligent.
You’re a contrived piece of shit.
11. Linkin Park fans.
You’re not tough. You’re an idiot.
12. Professors who want you to repeat exactly what they said
back to them in a paper.
You’re a doctor, aren’t you secure enough with yourself that you
don’t need to get your fucking ego stroked by 80 students?
13. Girls who call men “complicated.”
WE ARE NOT COMPLICATED. IF WE
ONLY COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE DRUNK, WE JUST
WANT TO FUCK. IF WE ONLY CALL YOU WHEN WE
WANT TO FUCK, WE HAVE NO EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT
TO YOU. WE DO NOT RESPECT YOU.
14. Crooked mechanics.
I knew I could find a wheel for my car cheaper than $500, you
bastard.
15. The “I’M GOING TO ACT INTERESTED IN
EVERYTHING YOU SAY BECAUSE I’M A NICE
GIRL!” Girl.
Oh, so you like Arsenal too? A lot? Really? Who’s your favorite
player? You don’t know a player in Arsenal, yet you like them that
much? Not one? C’mon…Van Persie? Song? Walcott? No? Wow, you’re a
phony bitch. I hate you.
16.The China girl who asks 2 questions every 10 minutes in my
class.
We’re forming a small alliance to kill you. It’s growing larger by
the day.
17. The dumb, ugly fat friend
If your friend wants to fuck me, let her. She’d have more fun
sucking my dick than she would listening to your bitching about
loneliness.
18. Credit card companies who call me looking for money.
No, I’m not here.
19. Girls who don’t say thanks when you hold the door for
them.
I didn’t hold the door for you so that you could be a raging whore.
If there are two doors, I’m going to slam the next one in your ugly
fucking face That’ll teach you to appreciate a little something
called courtesy.
20. Guys who listen to music so loud you can hear it in the
library/girls who talk on their cell phone in the library.
I’m studying for a test, goddamnit. I don’t care if May and James
broke up. They are as moronic as you.
21. The mom who refuses to discipline the screaming brat at the
mall.
If you’ll notice, I carry a crowbar with me now. If you don’t
discipline the little bitch, I will.
22. Probably You.
I just don’t like people, and you’re probably a person. So, fuck
you too.
