Heavy hand and hurtful criticism won't help youth
I AM greatly distressed and discouraged by Ms Tan Lin Neo's
condemnation of Singapore's teenagers as a 'bunch of softies' and
her disapproving comments about the 'quality' of today's youngsters
('Don't let cushy environment ruin our youth's future'; ST, May
24).
As a Singaporean teenager myself, I am deeply hurt by the seemingly
never-ending criticism of youth from all quarters.
What I find especially worrisome is Ms Tan's unwavering support for
harsh punishment and firm discipline to 'instil the right values in
our youngsters'.
She seems to equate the rise in freedom of speech with a loss of
respect for elders. According to her, the greater freedom that the
youth of today have seems to make us disrespectful, soft and
ungrateful.
Her cure is for parents to 'reprimand and punish'. To her, the
medicine for Singapore's social ills is to force the children to
'listen and obey' and, through that, learn the right values.
It is true that the youth of today are much more likely to voice
their opinions than in the past. But does that mean we are
disrespectful?
Does Ms Tan really advocate a return to the upholding of filial
piety to the letter, with its attendant images of sullen children
silently filing past adults, always in fear of being beaten for
asking even harmless questions?
While I agree with her that perhaps we teenagers should express our
opinions with greater tact and courtesy, there is an equal
responsibility on the part of parents not to be too repressive. A
question to authority need not necessarily be a questioning of
authority.
I also agree that Singaporean teenagers are overly sheltered with
maids and parents looking after their every need. But I disagree
with Ms Tan's dire predictions that we will be left helpless
without 'the fifties and sixties generation to guide us' and that
we will be incapable of fending for ourselves.
Hundreds of Singaporeans are studying in overseas universities, and
many of them grew up in precisely this kind of sheltered
environment.
They face the enormous challenge of living alone far away from
home, and not only survive but also grow increasingly
independent.
These clueless teens - who, as Ms Tan insists, cannot fry an egg,
nor wash their own clothes - seem to be doing pretty well on their
own.
It is people like Ms Tan - who insist that a heavy hand and firm
guidance are the only solution - who are responsible for
perpetuating their very own dire prophecies.
How can we teenagers be expected to have any confidence in
ourselves when our very elders (whom we are expected to respect and
seek advice from) are unhesitating in doubting and condemning
us?
The irony of the whole matter is that all these criticisms are born
out of the fear of parents in letting go - they seem insistent on
thefact that we can't take care of ourselves.
Sadly, harsh discipline, firm instruction, listening and obeying go
only so far in teaching us how to survive in life. The rest has to
be learnt, as they say, from the 'school of hard knocks'.
My belief is this: If the elders really want us to grow up, throw
us in at the deep end of the pool and let us sink or swim. Cling to
us and we'll drown.
CALEB LIU XILIANG
Oxford, Britain
--ST Forum
