cApitaland SG do you remember the day i met you lying on the grass under the shade of the raintree watching the clouds pass by the cool breeze made me slept i awoke to a beautiful voice more melodious than the nightingale singing i looked around for the source a sweet soothing sound mere mortals could not make that was when i noticed you standing against the sun you were heaven sent i called out to you and just like an angel you floated down to me days weeks months years passed we spent our time together be it on the gentle slopes of a hill or in the soft warm hay sleepin together in each other's arms the earth was our bed and the star studded sky our blanket till one fine day you had to return home you said i was befuddled we were meant to be together always and forever i cried out in anger and cursed the gods for this cruel twist of fate and the illness they had given you a pile of keepsakes remind me everyday your words are like the gentle kisses you pepper on my cheek eyes more beautiful than the moon beautiful hair billowing in the spring breeze your melodious voice echoing within the depths of my heart my memories of you clear as a lake i miss you not exactly a poem. apologies if i posted in the wrong place. just some thoughts of mine influenced from my so far single life. so what do you guys think. any suggestions. how to improve etc. like what is this exactly? more of a story i suppose with poor paragraphing and im just 17 year old engineering student. not a professional poet or author so dun be too harsh.
tare SG really familiar.... sounds more like a prose than a poem tho... paiseh i din quite like it... too mushy too "aged"... like love stories in the era of 30s, 40s [eg. sound of music]... i can't really connect to it...
cApitaland SG i was kind of inspired by the country side. wouldnt it be nice to lie in a meadow of flowers and get away from the town/city just for abit.
KittynMeow SG my idea of a "get away from the town/city" would be more like a secluded beach or a deep forest... hahahaha... countryside is still a little too close to civilisation... hahahaha
