Keeping Hungry
Interesting title. Grab my attention immediately.
To write when one is famished,
is a reminder, a connection
to a savage past where our present
was just a dream.
I am not sure how you are going to connect hunger with
writing.
We must keep ourselves hungry,
if only to drive the inspiration to hunt.
Right, now it is starting to make some sense.
.................................We
hunt
herds of rumor that wander the space
herds of rumor is excellent!
between mouths and ears; we'll trap
stumbling words, bend them into
metaphors, so that they can catch
the sun and reflect on a canvas of lines,
a rainbow of overlapping memories.
I am slightly uncomfortable with this part. Since you are using a
hunting metaphor hence your readers will automatically link phrases
such as rumor and words with animals. I can imagine hunting
herds of rumor and trapping stumbling words. But how are you
going to bend them into metaphors? Maybe what you can do is to
have the words skinned and made bags out of them to
catch
the sun and reflect on a canvas of lines,
a rainbow of overlapping memories.
All in all, I like what you are doing here and I did enjoy
it.
