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duke_argonath SG

He sits and waits
By the pearly gates
For peter and his flaming sword
To let him in
His grand domain
Another wayward ward

But theres no light
This bitter night
To guide this weathered soul
Only scattered coughs
And stagnant troughs
Amidst the stinging cold

Perhaps some day
I hear him say
Ill leave this world for good
He huddles inside
His oxen hide
And pulls down on his hood.

DeadPoet SG

Hello duke_argonath,

What I like about this poem is its tone and its sense of mystery. I have no major problems with this one except for the usual clichés such as bitter night, stinging cold, etc. Overall I am quite okay with it but I do have a question i.e. what is this poem about?

Thanks. Mr. Green

duke_argonath SG

well when i wrote it i imagined a homeless man.. that’s all.. nothing spectacular, and i shall take what you said about cliches into consideration

dsnake1 SG

yes, it does make sense now.
like the rhyming scheme.
is there a name for that?

DeadPoet SG

Good for you my friend! Very Happy

The problem with having too many clichés is that they dull the poem.

A couple of them is actually okay with me. Mr. Green

DriftingGuy SG

Yeah theres a name for that rhyming pattern he used... I can't remember though

dsnake1 SG

did some searching and came up with this.
maybe it's a version of a Cywydd Llosgyrnog

how do you pronounce this thing? Mr. Green

DeadPoet SG

Originally posted by dsnake1:

did some searching and came up with this.
maybe it's a version of a [b]Cywydd Llosgyrnog

how do you pronounce this thing? Mr. Green [/b]

Very deep leh brother. Confused

I am having a headache now. Wink

duke_argonath SG

as am i…