I have a question for you, what do you want your poem to
achieve? If you want your reader to simply understand your poem, I
think to a certain extent you have achieved that. (I have read
poems so abstract that none of the readers know what the heck they
are talking about, luckily none of the poems posted here are like
those)
But if you want your poem to stand out, to be different from the
hundred of thousands of dark poems out there, or if you want your
poem to leave such a deep impression on your readers that 10 20
years down the road they can still recall it, there is still quite
a distance to go.
When I look at a poem the first question I ask myself is do I
understand what the poem is about? If the answer is no, why is it
so? Is it because I am stupid or is it because it is too abstract?
Most poems have no problem achieving the first level.
At the second level I start to get picky. I focus on techniques,
such as spelling, punctuation, rhythm, sound, image, etc. Here is
where the conflicts arise. Usually I avoid commenting at this level
because we need to have a certain understanding to communicate
effectively here.
At the third level, I look beyond the surface of the poem, and the
techniques used and go for an in-depth analysis. If I manage to
reach this level, usually I will remember that poem forever.
Personally this is the most interesting level. 
