Tragic Clown SG Bending double folded over myself aches my back but it is nothing to the ache you left in front of me physical pain simple and clean keep all those sharp objects away from me Knife Scalpel Stiletto Scimitar Blade, blade, blade why, some of them are even smiling Once there were pictures on Russian TV of a massacre a young woman's throat, cut and her smaller, gentle smile above.
DeadPoet SG Hello Tragic Clown, welcome to DPS (S) I have some questions regarding your poem. Firstly, how are stanzas 1-3 related to stanza 4? There is a smooth flow between stanzas 1-3 but I kind of got stuck in stanza 4. It is like you are watching some interesting progrmme and someone (my wife in my case) suddenly change channel to another show. Ever the length of the lines change, giving me a impression, using TV programme as example again, as if I am watching something from normal speed to slow motion. Any reason for that? Secondly, in my opinion stanza 4 by itself can be a very powerful short poem. But can you explain the last line i.e. and her smaller, gentle smile above? If you use the cut (on a throat) to represent a smile it will provoke a very powerful image and this can suggest many things. Apply to your poem the cut on her throat may be a deep wide one in contrast with the smaller, gentle smile above (on her face). Is this what you are trying to present here?
